A recent heartbreak left me asking questions and searching urgently for understanding. What was the pattern we had become trapped in that clearly did not work? How had I contributed to said pattern, and what was I not seeing?
Lucky for me, I had an enlightening conversation with Marianne Williamson about life and love. Her characteristic, cutting-edge divination made me realize that I had lost touch with my feminine energy. She was referring to creativity, intuition, the ability to surrender.
This was a revelation, and one that was hard to hear ... especially since so much of my passion and work centers on empowering women. But I nonetheless made the decision to empower myself, and launched into a self-imposed crash course on what it truly means to embody the feminine. I asked myself: How can we, as women, show up differently in our romantic relationships (whether with men or women) to inspire and magnetize towards us the deeper love and intimacy that we desire?
Feminine energy is naturally enchanting, beguiling and healing. Here are some basic guidelines to enhance your feminine qualities and become increasingly irresistible:
1. Figure out what "beauty" means to YOU.
One of the greatest attributes of feminine energy is radiance and beauty. Unfortunately, our cultural understanding of what "beauty" means is limited by the media's representations of women, which often pressure us into changing our appearance to what we think beauty should look like.
That said, we can all — regardless of gender — think of beauty as a balm for the soul. Beauty heals.Beauty has more to do with energy than aesthetics.
So take extra time to care for and adorn yourself. Delight in enhancing your natural beauty with a healthy diet, exercise, jewelry or whatever accoutrement help you cultivate radiance. Investigate which colors, clothing and scents look and feel good to you.
Beauty radiates from within. When we feel fabulous in our own skin, we glow with confidence and emanate a relaxed charm.
Amplify beauty in your home, work environment and car. Ask in every encounter: “How can I bring more beauty to this moment?” Perhaps it is a smile, gesture, tone of your voice or the expression on your face.
2. Relax. Soften. Just be.
The feminine principle is being. Masculine energy is typically represented by doing. Of course, no matter our gender, we each have both of these principles. The key is balance, and figuring out what works for each of us as individuals. When we allow our minds to drift into a more diffused state of awareness, non-linear, softened focus, we relax into the essence of our being. We radiate a deep patience, trust and tranquility.
The pressure to “do more” is pervasive. It can be hard in our technologically-driven, goal-oriented world to foster such a softened approach. Yet, when we clarify our priorities in life, the personal (feminine) realm of relatedness, intimacy, partnership, connection and family are often at the top of the list.
Cultivate your ‘"feeling function" through spiritual practice, therapy, radical self-care, yoga, breathwork, extended periods of silence, contemplation and creativity. Meditate. Learn to embrace the world through your heart … rather than your head. Your center of gravity will gradually shift to a more balanced, softer, alluring center.
3. Ask for help, because knowing what you need is a strength.
While learning to make our way as strong, powerful women in the world, building successful careers, caring for children or directing family life … we often pride ourselves on our self-sufficiency, stamina and strength. This goal-oriented dominance can backfire in the bedroom.
But you can empower yourself with your innate feminine energy simply asking for help: