It’s remarkable how many women don’t allow themselves to feel the fullness of their pleasure, as they’ve been taught from an early age that pleasure — including sexuality — is dangerous and dirty.
A woman without pleasure is a woman without her light, her radiance. She may become an empty shell, and try to fill herself up with mindless eating, drinking, shopping, or meaningless relationships.
When a woman is activated, when she is feeling sexy and alive, she lights up. She is confident. She no longer struggles to fill herself from the outside, because she is full already from the warm waves of pleasure and love that radiate through her. She is confident in herself and sees herself as a powerful, creative force.
It is through returning to the body and reclaiming pleasure that women today can turn their lights back on and step into their power. Here are a few ways how:
1. Honor your boundaries.
In order to open yourself to pleasure, you must first feel safe. Make a commitment to acknowledge and honor your boundaries.
In the following suggestions, only go as far as what feels good to you. Let them be an invitation for compassionate self-exploration. If you come up against fear and resistance, make space for these parts of you and thank them for keeping you safe.
2. Turn exercise into playtime.
Set aside time every day to move your body. It doesn’t have to be strenuous — it just has to feel good.
Get curious and explore what kinds of movements you enjoy. Try yoga, dancing in your room, walking through the park, rock-climbing, biking, anything. Let whatever you choose be an exploratory in what actually feels good, from one moment to the next.
Conscious, self-loving movement not keeps you healthy, it also opens the channels for pleasure and reconnects you with your internal vitality and power.
3. Make eating more pleasurable.
It’s time for women to reclaim their right to eat whatever they want. Plus, letting yourself fully enjoy what you want removes the desire to cheat or overeat.
So find out what truly nourishes your palate and your body and let yourself have it! Don’t deprive yourself, as so many women have been taught to do. Eat what you want to eat and bask in the experience. Chew slowly and notice each flavor and sensation.
Allow each time you eat to be an opportunity to explore your sensuality, trust in your body’s signals, and embrace your pleasure and satisfaction.
4. Touch yourself.
Touching yourself doesn’t have to mean masturbation, although it can be a powerful way to reconnect with your pleasure.
You can benefit simply by caressing your arm at your desk, rubbing oil or lotion on your body after a shower, brushing your hair gently, or dressing yourself slowly and playfully, like you would a lover.
Touching yourself with kindness feels great, creates intimacy with yourself, and helps you feel safe to expand your capacity for pleasure.
5. Give your body what it wants.
Make it a priority to adjust your surroundings to accommodate your body. So often we forget our bodies and focus on other things, especially what the people around us need. We can’t fully show up for others if we are running on empty.
Redirect your attention to what feels good to your body right now: shift your seat in your chair. Unfold your legs. Take your shoes off. Drink some cool water. Do what you need to feel good in your body moment-to-moment, and watch how your pleasure becomes a gift to the people around you.
6. Create support.
Identify people in your life you can support you in feeling good, and spend time with them. Create a women’s circle. Ask someone you look up to to be your mentor, or enlist the help of a guide or coach, such as myself.
It’s time for women to embrace what feels good to our bodies, not as a method of attracting or gaining approval from others, but as a way to improve our lives and the lives of the people around us.
It’s time to fill ourselves up with the flow of love and ecstasy that is always available to us. It’s time for us to reclaim our pleasure and blossom into our power.