“You can’t calm the storm so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.” -Timber Hawkeye
Did you lose a job? A loved one? A relationship?
Are you facing your own personal tsunami of pain and struggle in life today?
A few years back, I found myself in a relationship that was ending, and stuck in a soul-crushing career that I had to get out of. My business was struggling and the bills kept piling up.
I had hit rock bottom and needed to find a way out.
Here are eight mindsets that helped me stay the course and survive those tough times. When you’re going through hell, remind yourself of these messages to help you stay resilient.
1. This too shall pass.
No matter how bad things get, remember that the current challenges and difficulties will pass.
Everything changes. Use this knowledge to your advantage. The good times pass, the bad times pass. And the really icky, painful and difficult times you find yourself in, will also pass.
2. You’ve survived a lot worse.
If you reflect on your life, you really are the master of resilience and survival.
You’ve survived tough times and challenges, over and over.
Even when you faced an insurmountable problem, you found a way around it, or over it.
If you’ve done it in the past and have continued to do it, you can certainly do so now.
Remind yourself that you’re an experienced problem solver. And while you’re at it, remind yourself you’re fighter. You overcome, you don’t give up.
3. You’re fine in this moment.
While you may feel overwhelmed by life’s twists and turns and the intensity of the current situation, try to take each moment one at a time.
While the problem you’re confronting is consuming your life, you are free and clear of the problem in this very moment.
In this present moment, there are no challenges or worries. Breathe into this moment and stay there a bit, without feeling the burden of what has happened, or the anxiety of what could happen tomorrow.
4. Release expectations and control.
Often, we deal with so much stress and anxiety not because of what’s happening, but because it is not happening as we please.
We each have grown accustomed to having certain expectations about our life. We demand certain consequences and results. We provide the timelines on when we want these things.
Unfortunately, life doesn’t serve our every wish and command, on our timeline.
The more you can learn to let go of your expectations about circumstances, the more free and less stressed you’ll feel.
Trust that the situation will work out for the best and be OK with it not turning out exactly as you had wanted.
5. Learn the lesson life’s teaching.
You may not be able to do anything with your current circumstances right now, but you will be able to reflect and learn from what’s happening in your life later on.
Are there lessons that continue to pop up in your life that you haven’t heeded to?
Do you have more personal growth and transformations to make?
Is life teaching you to let go of something or someone who’s unhealthy for you?
Or is life teaching you to embrace changes?
Life is like a classroom ... imagine that it’s preparing you for the next big exam.
6. It gets better.
The darkest hour is always before the dawn.
When things get bad, or terrible, rest assured that it can’t continue this way.
Bad times never last. You can’t go further down that rock bottom.
Rest assured the worst is in front of you. It can only get better from this point onward.
Stay hopeful and optimistic that your situation is about to change for the better.
7. The harder you fall, the higher you’ll rise.
The more you fail and stumble, the more growth and insight you’ll have about life.
Have you noticed that the most successful people in the world are the ones that have failed the most?
If failure’s an indication of a success, get ready for better things in your future.
The pains and struggles at rock bottom are going to propel you to bigger and better things.
The harder you fall and the lower you go, the more room you have to rise.
If the fall was hard and painful, your bounce back should take you to whole new heights.
8. Consider it a wake-up call.
You might rather stay in bed than face what life’s sending your way, but there is something helpful about being put through the roller coaster.
When you’re shaken up, you tend to wake up.
You wake up to the decisions you’ve made and the choices you’re making each day.
You’re able to see if you’re living someone else’s life or living your authentic truth.
When your life gets shaken up, you’re in a position to make changes.
Being stuck or knowing what’s not working can help motivate you to take action in your life.
Setbacks aren’t always what they seem. You may feel like you’re taking several steps back when in reality, you’re getting ready to make great leaps in your life.
And soon enough you'll realize that it's not a setback when life’s setting you up for something much greater.