I recently spoke to a client who wants to improve her relationship with both money and romantic love. We started our session by exploring her patterns with men.
"Well," she explained, "I feel like I have to choose between stability and fun. I date two types of men: either they have their lives together, but I'm bored. Or the relationship is unstable, but also wild and fun."
We spoke about that issue for a while (I'll tell you the solution later in the article), and then we discussed her relationship with money.
"I feel like I have to choose between a stable 9 to 5 job, where I'll make good money but I won't feel inspired; or I can have my own business, but I'll have to sacrifice abundance and security."
A pattern emerged. So I responded by pointing that out: "It sounds like in both these areas of your life — love and money — you feel like you have to choose between opposites: feeling happy and free, or secure and filled with abundance. You are not able to imagine a reality in which you feel both stable and inspired all at once."
She agreed. Our deep work had begun.
Before I tell you what we did next to start her transformation, I want to say this: It's very common for people to treat their money and relationships the same way. In my work, I see patterns like these all the time: