Sexy has many forms and interpretations. There's the clichéd sexy with a half-naked woman leaning up against a car and flaunting her assets, and there's the man with that sultry look that seems to say, "I'm mysterious and you can't have me."
Both of these forms of sexy are just images that feed the desires of our mind (ego), which are fleeting and unfulfilling in the lasting sense. We seem to have a tendency to want what we can't have.
I'm from Miami, which is known for having some of the most physically attractive people in the world. All of this external eye-candy has proven to not have any lasting sweetness.
Throughout my years of dating all kinds of men and searching for that which ignited me about them, I finally have been able to pinpoint the qualities in a partner that I've always known were my turn-on points. But I couldn't have articulated this without the help of Vedanta — the ancient teachings of yoga.
In Vedanta, there are three yogas one must practice consistently in order to lessen one's desires and attachments, in order to find lasting peace and happiness, to reach the goal of yoga — self-realization. There's Jnana Yoga: the path of knowledge, Bhakti Yoga: the path of love and devotion, and Karma Yoga: the path of selfless service and action. Vedanta states that in order to find balance you must apply all three yogas as a daily discipline.
So how does this translate into the sexy qualities I want in a partner? These three branches of yoga are the prerequisites I look for in a partner, in order to keep the fire burning brightly and powerfully within myself, within my partner and between the two of us.
Here are the six sexiest qualities to look for in a partner, based on the ancient teachings of yoga:
1. My sexy partner is continuously developing his intellect.
As a Jnana Yogi, he is always questioning the externals and able to rationalize and use his wisdom to make healthier and more conscious choices. When he allows himself to be controlled by his emotions (his mind), he is reverting to a childlike state and acting out as if in a tantrum. No relationship can build from two children being emotional together.
2. My sexy partner has an ability to be consciously vulnerable.
As a Bhakti Yogi, he has emotional surrender and feels a sense of devotion and love for something bigger or deeper than himself — and of course to me as well. He doesn't go to an extreme either, because then the emotional part is too strong (the mind is more powerful than the intellect) and there is not a healthy balance.
3. My sexy partner steps up when he has to be a "man," (aka responsible adult).
As a Karma Yogi, he can take action in the appropriate situation and be selfless in those actions. He stands up for what is right and mutually serves himself, me and others in the process, even if others don't fully understand his actions. Using his intellect, he knows which approach is best and takes action.
4. My sexy partner steps back when his "woman" (aka the other responsible adult) needs to step up.
As a Karma Yogi, he is able to see when it's not his turn to take action, and thus he consciously takes the action not to act in order to allow his woman a chance to take action for herself. This shows a huge level of respect and honor that speaks volumes of a man's character.
5. My sexy partner is willing to grow, evolve, study and learn.
As a Jnana Yogi, he continues to learn and study himself and the world as a form of humility, because he knows that he doesn't know everything. He allows himself this form of positive childlike curiosity, to see the world with awe and gratitude.
6. My sexy partner is able to have fun, be adventurous and spontaneous.
This applies to all areas of life (wink, wink) — all while maintaining the above qualities.
As a human being, he is able to enjoy life and embrace all that has come and gone. He honors his limitations as a human, yet challenges himself and me to live a life without boundaries or attachments.
Now that is the world's sexiest man for me!