A Letter To Any Woman Who Thinks She Needs A Different Body To Be Loved
You have a light inside that shines so brightly. If you could only see yourself the way others do, you would feel the love and energy you exude organically and effortlessly
You have a natural glow around you that illuminates the room. Your smile warms our hearts and your eyes light up with passion when you talk about what you love.
But I sense your pain. I know you fall into sadness. Hopelessness. You feel unworthy. You feel you are a burden as you carry around guilt from mistakes. It's OK: you are here, now, and the past is behind you and behind us all.
I feel your need to be seen. Like you, I also want to be appreciated. You are not alone in any of the feelings you have. Your sadness is part of a collective human consciousness. To be human is to feel — sad, happy, angry and so on. Your emotions are glorious reminders that you are indeed alive. So honor the intensity of them, even if it is uncomfortable.
Consider everything you have ever done up until this point in your life has actually prepared you for who you really want to be. Please forgive yourself for what you think was a wrong choice or disruptive situation. There are no mistakes. Just growth. You are right where you should be.
You are making a difference just as you are, but I sense you don't see this. Instead, you close the blinds and fall into your habits, addictions and negative self-talk.
You carry around open wounds from your childhood and failed expectations from situations gone awry. You think it's your fault. But it's not. You get mad at yourself and say harmful things, mad that you can't seem to get it right. Furious you are still trying to break that habit or reach that goal. It's OK. You have done nothing wrong.
Everything is as it should be. Trust the process. I see you fall into self-sabotage by attacking yourself mentally and berating your body. I know it's hard for you to look in the mirror and love what you see. I know you want to change yourself. But your physical presence is perfect as it is.
You resist, hate, pinch, squeeze, yell at and condemn your beautiful body. You want to change it. If only you could lose weight you'd be loved, feel appreciated, be seen. If only you had the surgery to enhance the body part you are insecure about, then you could be proud of your body. Then maybe people would see you for who you are.
But here's the thing: we already see you for all of your grace and glory. You are so beautiful in this moment, your love and kindness can move mountains. You have no idea how amazing you are. You have no idea how much of an impact you are making on the world by you just being you.
I know some days it is hard to get up. To move forward. To say something nice. But it is worth it, and you can do it. If you could trade places with those who love you for you and see how others see you, you would be amazed at how perfect you are. I don't say "perfect" to endorse perfectionism, but to emphasize that there is nothing about you that you need to change. You are your own worst critic. But you are dearly loved. You are seen. You are appreciated for you just being you.
For today, try it out. See yourself the way the world sees you. A beautiful human, graceful and kind. You matter and you make a difference. There is nothing to change for you to fit in. You're perfect just as you are. We love you. Please love yourself.