Why It's Easy To Transform Some Areas Of Your Life & Not Others

Marriage and Family Therapist By Shelly Bullard, MFT
Marriage and Family Therapist
Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist with a holistic and spiritual approach to relationships. She has worked with thousands of clients on improving their relationships with others and themselves.

As humans, we were programed to evolve — not only biologically, but also mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Most of us feel an innate desire to become better, happier, and more whole.

But have you ever noticed that certain areas of your life are easy to transform, and others are not? As a relationship coach, I hear it all the time: "I'm doing well in my career, I have a fantastic social life and I'm very healthy. But when it comes to love, I need a TON of help." If you relate to this, don't worry. You're not the only one.

That's why I'm going to talk about why certain areas of your life are more difficult to transform than others, and what you can do to change those areas, too.

We get stuck in certain areas of our lives is because of one, simple reason: we don't believe in the possibilities of what we can become. We have doubts and limiting beliefs.

A limiting belief is a message that you tell yourself, and that limits your self-esteem and self-trust: these messages tell you what you cannot be, do or have.

Often, limiting beliefs are unconscious. So you may not be aware that you have a limiting belief about a certain area of your life. But if you feel stuck, you can be certain that you are perpetuating a limiting belief somewhere inside of yourself.

Limiting beliefs dictate the actions and energy you put forth in the world. Here's an example: If you go to a job interview with the belief that there's no way you're going to get the job, your performance level isn't going to be as great as if you truly believe you're a perfect candidate.

When you change your beliefs, you can — and will — change your life. Here are the essential steps to confront your limiting beliefs and transform them, so that you can improve every aspect of your life, and yourself:

Step 1: Become aware of the limiting belief.

In order to make change, you first have to know what's not working. Many people want to skip this step; we'd rather not look at our issues. But avoiding them will just keep you stuck. Instead, find out what's holding you back. Then you'll be able to take the necessary steps to resolve it.

Ask yourself: Where do I feel stuck? What am I afraid of? What patterns keep happening that I don't like? Your answers will guide you straight to your limiting beliefs, and will shed light on what areas of self-improvement and growth you might be stunting with the power of your mind.

In relationships, common limiting beliefs are feelings and thoughts like this: "I'm scared I'll get hurt," "I'm scared I won't find the right partner," or "I'm scared I'm not worthy."

In the career realm, common limiting beliefs are feelings and thoughts often go something like this: "I'm scared I don't have enough," "I'm scared I don't have what it takes," or "I'm scared I can't do it."

Look within, confront the fear, and then move on to the next step of overcoming it.

Step 2: Believe in a higher reality.

Anyone who has accomplished anything will tell you that they first believed in the goal, and then they made it happen. The belief precedes the goal.

You have to believe in a greater reality — one that you haven't experienced yet — before it can become true. I like to call these "higher beliefs," as they transcend your inner limitations.

Examples of higher beliefs for one's relationships might look like this: "I'm going to choose to believe there's an incredible partner out there for me," "I'm going to choose to believe that I am worthy of great love."

For career, shift your attitude: "I believe that I CAN make it happen," "I believe that I can create abundance and happiness in my life," "I believe I have a purpose in this world, and I'm going to find it."

If you get quiet and reach within yourself, you'll resonate with your higher beliefs, even if only faintly. Once you do, you're on your way to making them a reality.

3. Stay connected to the higher reality, and it will come true.

Everything that exists begins its existence as a thought. When you stay connected to higher beliefs that say "you can and you will," there is no choice but for them to come true. The more committed you are to the higher belief, the faster it will happen.

When your fear-based, limiting beliefs arise again (and they will), simply dig-deep and re-connect to your higher belief. The more you do this, the more it will become your new truth.

By orienting yourself to the highest possibilities you can imagine, you will transform every aspect of your life. Transcend your limiting beliefs, and you will create everything you want from the inside-out.

Please leave a comment below telling us one of your limiting beliefs, and the higher belief you're choosing to believe in from this day forward.

If you're interested in learning how to transform yourself and your relationships from the inside-out, sign up here.

Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist with a holistic and spiritual approach to...
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Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist with a...
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