What are the thoughts you typically have throughout the day? Were they the empowering, encouraging words you would speak to a friend? Or were they the belittling remarks you would shout to an enemy?
I'm a big believer that our thoughts and emotions shape our experiences. The problem is that most people aren't even aware of their negative thoughts. It's almost like they've just become a habit, so it seems normal to them. Here are 10 common toxic thoughts that you need to throw away for a better life:
1. You think you're a victim.
Don't be the person who always blames others for his own circumstances. If you aren't happy with your circumstances, take personal responsibility and realize that you, and only you, are the one who can change it. You're in control of your own life and destiny.
2. You resist what can't be changed.
You're in control of A LOT of things. You can lose weight. You can work on your marriage.
But there are some things you can't change. Those things are simply what is. You can't change the fact that your boss is a jerk. You can, however, decide to change your job.
Resisting the unchangeable does nothing more than frustrate you and make you miserable. So change what you can, and accept what you can't.
3. You think the grass is always greener on the other side.
"If only I was born as thin as that person, then I would be happy." That kind of thinking isn't true. Just because you think someone else has it better than you doesn't mean they do.
You don't know what another person's experience is. Always appreciate what you have, and don't compare it with others.
4. You have expectations of others.
Expectations can work against your happiness, even if you think your expectation is reasonable. Maybe you expect your spouse to help you with some house chores, but just because you expect it doesn't mean they'll do it.
Realize that your expectations come from your personal experiences and biases, and they're not necessarily other people's priority.
You probably don't like being expected to do things that you don't want to do, so don't impose your expectations on others. If you don't like their behavior, either accept it, or move on.
5. You think having a significant other will make you happy.
This is a very common toxic thought among single people. Do not expect other person to make you happy. You create happiness for yourself. If you are not a whole person already, then having a romantic partner won't make you whole.
6. You feel a need to be proved right.
You should not be right all the time. Admitting that you are wrong doesn't make you look weak or stupid. Instead, it shows that you are mature enough to be vulnerable, and people will respect you for that.
7. You worry about what others think.
Don't let worry and fear about other people's opinions keep you from happiness. Other people are probably too busy that they probably don't even think about you. Even if there are people who judge you, then it's their problem, not yours. Ignore them and be happy anyway.
8. You worry about the future and feel unprepared.
You can't control the future; all you can control is the present. So be present!
9. You think that money equals happiness.
We live in a capitalist culture that values money and achievement. Our society thinks that people who have a lot of money are somehow better than those who don't. But that's simply not true. Don't fall into the trap of thinking you have to be rich to be happy.
10. You believe the past determines your future.
Just because you've made mistakes in the past doesn't mean you can't make your future better. If you've labeled yourself as failure, then you'll only continue that attitude into the future.
Don't let your past hinder your best potential. Be brave and face the future, knowing that you aren't defined by your past mistakes.