I Lost My Dad, My Brother & My 30-Year Marriage. Here's How I Found My Way
I've been a spiritual teacher and intuitive guide for more than 30 years. In that time I've written more than 20 books on intuition, six-sensory living, and living an empowered life, traveling the world, offering thousands of people the tools to listen their guidance and live at the highest level of personal empowerment.
My life was in flow until a few years ago, when both my father and brother died suddenly, only six weeks apart. Immediately following that my difficult marriage of 30 years imploded. My heart was broken, and my life fell apart.
Blindsided, devastated, and left in pieces, I lost confidence in everything I believed in, and worse, in myself. I could no longer offer guidance to others until I found own my way out of the disastrous grief and loss drowning me. So I stopped working and prayed for direction.
It came in a way I never expected. I was guided to undertake a 35-day, 580-mile ancient pilgrimage across Spain known as the Camino de Santiago, as a way to heal.
I was challenged and confused. For one, I am a die-hard city slicker. The furthest I’ve ever hiked was to the grocery store in my neighborhood. Furthermore I had broken my knee, a result of trying to kick-box my way through my anger and upset, and it was still on the mend.
Still, I knew from experience to trust my inner voice. So, acting on pure faith, and trusting my vibes, I walked away from work and set out on the greatest adventure of my life.
The next 35 days were a shedding experience unlike any other I've undergone or considered possible. Beginning with the excess baggage I carried my backpack, then moving on to all the mental, and emotional baggage I carried from my past that went along with it, day-by-day, as I walked, I stripped away and cast aside everything that burdened my body and soul.
Whether it was the unnecessary second pair of shoes, or the regret, judgment, resentment, and bitterness I had clung to, I had to set it aside if I was going to succeed in inching my way forward, through the rain, sleet, snow, rock, and mud I was met with as I headed toward the Emerald City known as Santiago.
As I walked I had a long and intimate inner conversation with myself, my buried past, my deceased father and brother, my estranged husband, God, and the Universe. Walking in nature more than eight hours a day was enough to heal my heart. The beauty was breathtaking and the holy ground under my feet pieced back together my shattered spirit.
Walking so many miles silenced the undoing that came with feeling sorry for myself, and in that silence I gained access to an entirely new and far deeper understanding of my life and my relationships. I realized that we humans cause one another pain because we, ourselves, are in pain. And because of that, we are all innocent in the end. This awakening moved me to forgive us all, and open up to a deep compassion for our human struggle.
By the time I completed my journey I was no longer in pain. Moreover, I no longer judged anyone. I found acceptance for our human shortcomings and my heart filled with love.
Since completing the Camino I realize it doesn’t require walking 580 miles to find inner peace. But is does require some movement. Whether it's walking around the block, or simply walking away from the old reactions and automatic responses that keep us in pain and do not bring us the peace and love we are seeking, it is important to remember to keep the old, wounded energy moving on.
It's also important to tune into your heart, open up to inner guidance, and have the courage to follow it, even if it seems impossible. Doing this brings you back into integrity, wholeness, and ease.
Take a walk today. Name the things you see around you as you go. This calms your mind and restores your Spirit. As you walk, ask your Spirit what it wants. To do this is to simply fill in the blank: ”If I weren’t afraid I would...” Then answer out loud. Do this for a few minutes and you will tune into your deepest soul yearnings.
If you really want quickly change your life for the better, find the courage to say “yes” to at least one of the things you expressed. While this may not be the easiest or most comfortable thing to do, it's the most direct way to tune in to your intuition, regain your integrity, heal your heartache, and live an authentic life. Guaranteed.
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