Hey, Sometimes It's OK To Be Angry & Annoyed
I’m guessing that since you’ve landed here on MindBodyGreen, you really enjoy being healthy and having a positive outlook on life.
I'm right there with you. It feels good to keep our eyes on the pot of gold life hands us on a daily basis rather than focusing on lack of any nature, right?
Let’s be real, though: we all have days where it seems like life piles one challenge on top of another until the idea of being positive and optimistic feels completely out of reach.
You know, the days where hearing the words “Just let it go ...” can bring up a fury of nerves and even more agitation. In those moments, a feeling of unmitigated annoyance can rear its ugly head, and before we know it, we find ourselves dishing out apologies for hurtful things we’ve said to people we love.
We’re human. It happens.
Rather than pretending the anger isn’t there by trying to be perfect and positive all the time, I’ve found it’s helpful to let myself feel the anger. The key is not taking any action on it. It usually passes a heck of a lot faster this way.
On those not-so-joyous occasions, when I’ve wanted to blow off steam I’ve turned to a quick three-minute solution that can actually be funny; especially when you’re with a person who has a great sense of humor.
Of course, yoga class, meditation and going for a run are all great options. This is more reserved for the times you just need to vent and move on. So you can see the golden nugget that has come out of the situation.
It’s a good old fashion bitch fest ... with a twist.
This isn’t a bitch sesh that goes on for three hours, because that can be depressing, draining and counterproductive. This is just a quick release. Which is precisely why I came up with a few parameters before I started.
First, a little back story for you. I actually stumbled upon this solution when my husband was having a doozy of a day at work. One fire after another piled up and quite frankly, he’d had enough.
So I asked him if he just wanted to bitch. I could tell he needed to let go of all of the emotions that were rising to the surface. With that single act of encouragement to let go, he did just that. He swore, using every curse word out there and ranted without any filter. Which, as you can imagine, was pretty funny to watch, and by the end of the three minutes we were both laughing hysterically.
The bonus was that he quickly gained a new perspective. Actually, it happened WAY faster than if he had let the emotions stew inside, or worse, buried them. He allowed the energy to move through him, and it led to freedom.
Now, before we go any further I want to be clear that it’s important to do this with someone who won’t take it personally. She must be comfortable holding space for you to get your curse on, as you let go of your frustration. I also recommend reserving this for those moments where you just need to vent, while not making it an everyday occurrence.
If you stick to these agreements, it will likely be both effective and funny.
1. Set a timer (this is a biggie) for three minutes MAX! This way you don’t get all Negative Nelly and caught up in the drama.
2. No name-calling or insulting the person who is kind enough to hold this space for you. Because that would be both lame and pointless.
3. Once the timer is up, you actually stop talking. BAM.
4. After you take a few deep breaths, the other person asks you, “What’s one to three positive outcomes of the situation you were just upset about?” (This is where you discover the golden nugget!)
That’s it. You had your time, you vented, likely swore a lot and had a chance to let go of the energy that was making your blood boil. Hopefully you even had a few laughs by the end.
The point of this is to help you fully feel and release your feelings, so you can move on to a more positive and productive state of being.
I hope you find this helpful on the days you need a good release, a dose of entertainment and maybe even a few laughs. It might just loosen your grip a bit and give you chance to not take life so seriously. We all have our days.
So give it a whirl and let me know how it goes.