As men, what our culture celebrates isn’t always reflective of reality. Television isn’t always the greatest teacher, and magazines shouldn't be read as textbooks. The comparison game we play becomes a toxic breeding ground for insecurities. And our insecurities are not only unrealistic and unreasonable, but downright ridiculous.
We try to make our lives look like the Hollywood Hills, and our insecurity throws us into a depressing ditch.
Instead of living B-grade productions of something fake, it’s time for us men to drop these ridiculous insecurities, and start living blockbuster versions of our authentic selves.
1. The Alpha Male
Our culture celebrates the loud and opinionated. Extroversion is a virtue, and introversion is a vice. Men often feel like we have to do one better than our mates. The alpha male syndrome has made everything a never-ending competition. And it’s exhausting.
If that’s who you are, that’s fine. But the only thing worse than a class clown is one who feels like he has to act that way. If quiet and reserved is who you are, embrace that. There's no need to compare classical with rock n' roll.
2. The Vin Diesel Body
Some gyms have had to enforce rules against people spending too much time working out. Indeed anything can be done in excess.
No doubt there are careers like bodybuilding for those with an obsession for working out — but there’s a big difference between doing something out of love and doing something in need of love. If your obsession for working out is desperately in search for being loved, that insecurity will come up empty-handed.
Your physique can’t fully capture who you truly are, and our bodies change with age. Investing all your self-worth in your physical appearance is like buying a wardrobe of winter coats just before spring.
3. A Black Book To Rival Hugh Hefner's
It's probably the size of the Yellow Pages (if anyone still remembers them). But strange exceptions were never meant to be the rule. Sex is much more a beautiful spiritual act than a cheap American pie. The insecurity from how many pies you’ve had will be forgotten once you realize how deeply you can actually connect with just one person.
4. A Seven-Figure Income
Money won’t make you more of a man. Sure, you might be able to afford that Porsche, but if all it takes you is to and from work, I’d rather walk with less money in my pocket, and more life in my soul any day.
There’s nothing wrong with money, but if you see more value in the face on green paper than the face in the mirror, you need to spend more time with your reflection.
5. The Extravagant First Date
She said yes to a date because she’s obviously interested in you; not the horse-drawn carriage, Shakespearean sonnet, or blue suede shoes you’re busy trying to organize.
Insecurities can cause us to forget about the most important thing — being ourselves. By all means go fancy — if it’s got you authentically written all over it. But overcompensating for insecurity with extravagance, will only end up in embarrassment.
6. The Disney Proposal
You’ve run through 10 different scenarios in your head, and none of them are as good as that viral YouTube video of someone proposing in space while doing the moonwalk. (Don’t bother searching, there isn’t one — that’s ridiculous.)
You’re proposal doesn’t have to be the next video sensation. And really, if that’s your hope and motivation, you may need to straighten up your intentions, and drop your insecurity. Be impressive and over the top, as long as you realize the love and commitment won’t change.
7. Marrying A Trophy Wife
Holding out for the Victoria Secret wife is not only unrealistic, but egotistic. It’s an insecurity that believes a stunning woman won’t just solve your problems, but deserves to.
Stop thinking about how you’re going to look walking down the street with a stunner, and think more about the kind of person the grandkids will spend Christmas with.