The goal of finding a purpose is a pretty common one these days.
Many women who come through my doors have been doing the recent graduate job thing for a few (and some, for a few more) years and are feeling the repercussions of never having tuned into their own inner wisdom to discover their purpose.
As a life coach, I would say that about half of my clients come to see me because they feel bored, restless, anxious, lost, or stuck in their lives. They feel like they lack purpose. This is true, by the way, for how people feel about their careers but also for how they feel about their romantic relationships and friendships.
Lacking purpose is like lacking spark.
The pain of feeling either dispensable or empty is something an immense number of people are suffering from.
Nobody wants to feel like they don’t matter or like they're not adding value to something that is meaningful. But we are never taught how to do the inner-work, how to ask ourselves the questions that truly matter, because we are so busy hustling around trying to find a job. Or busy buying into the idea that work is just work and that it’s not supposed to be fun. Or, perhaps, feeling like relationships are just hard, and letting go of the idea of a romantic spark.
So if you are reading this post, I think it’s safe to say that there is a part of you that does seek more, whatever that may mean to you.
Having purpose is a non-negotiable if you want to lead a beautiful life, dwell in positive relationships, and feel empowered in the decisions you make.
So the bigger question is: what do people who have a sense of purpose do differently?
1. They don’t wait for purpose to come around.
They intentionally look for purpose and meaning in what they have now, what is present in their relationships and in life today. They make an effort to infuse whatever they do with purpose and meaning.
2. They ask the question, why, frequently and sincerely.
Why am I doing something? Why do I desire some specific thing? Why do I love this person? Why am I attracted to this kind of philosophy, artist, painter, musician, etc.? Why am I reacting the way I am reacting?
In other words, they are led by a deep sense of curiosity, by an inner pulsating desire to understand themselves and the world better and more precisely.
3. They dare to fail and they don't settle.
Even when they become discouraged, they keep exploring their mission. We have all heard and read about the necessity to be willing to fail if we want to do anything great and meaningful in life. When it comes to living with purpose, however, this is particularly important: you cannot put your heart into something without coming up against resistance and fear of failure.
The bigger question is, can you accept failure as part of the bigger journey toward a purposeful life and be willing to move through it?
4. They know the importance of humor and fun.
Without a sense of humor, risking failure is much harder. In addition, you can only stay connected with your purpose and what gives you meaning if you are able to loosen up your tight strung wires that are asking you to do the safe thing, and actually explore yourself and your desires.
Nothing is sustainable unless it is also fun and enjoyable. There is massive meaning in experiencing joy.
5. They are able to embrace their vulnerability and use it to their advantage.
Rather than closing off and shutting down when they feel vulnerable, people with purpose live very raw. They carry their heart on their sleeves because they're deeply connected to their everyday reality and what is happening around them. They care and in order to care, being vulnerable is a non-negotiable.
Helping my clients step into their greater purpose by teaching them how to create more balance and fulfillment in their lives is my passion.
In the comments below, I would love to hear from you: are you seeking more purpose in your life? What have you tried that worked and didn’t work? Which of these points above is the most inspiring to you?
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