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7 Tips To Become The Person You Want To Be

Author:

Andrea Brandt, PhD, MFT

October 22, 2020

Psychotherapist

By Andrea Brandt, PhD, MFT

Psychotherapist

Andrea Brandt, PhD, MFT, brings over 30 years of clinical experience to the role of psychotherapist, speaker, and author. She is a recognized expert in treating a full range of emotional issues, including anger, passive-aggressiveness, anxiety, work-life balance, and women’s issues.

October 22, 2020

Many of us don't like who we are. We feel weak or indecisive or lonely, and we're unhappy with our lives. But it doesn't have to be this way!

You have the power to change who you are and how others see you. You don't have to remain locked in old patterns. You can become the new you.

When people diet, they often put up an old photograph taken when they were at their ideal weight so they have a goal in mind as they make decisions about food and exercise throughout the day.

When you want to change what's inside, you can do something similar by using words to create a character model of the person you're trying to become. It may not be as easy as flipping through old photo albums, but all it takes to begin the process of self-reinvention is following these seven steps:

Think of some of the people in your life who you admire.

They could be friends, family, coworkers, or your romantic partner, for example. Write down their names.

For each person on your list, write down at least two positive characteristics.

Are they committed to their goals? Good with money? Calm and sensible in a crisis?

Look over your list of personality traits.

Are there common behaviors or qualities among them? Are there themes like honesty or decisiveness or generosity?

Write down at least two positive characteristics of your personality.

This is the hard part. If you're having trouble, you might ask a partner or friend to help. Think of it as an opportunity to see yourself as others see you (you may be pleasantly surprised).

Look at the list of positive traits you already have and the list of traits you admire in others.

Use them to write out a description of the ideal person. How does this ideal person treat others? How does she see and treat herself? How does he handle the day-to-day ups and downs of his life? The character description you build with your words will become your goal picture.

Look at your word picture at the beginning of each day.

While you're at work or hanging out with friends or on a date, keep a lookout for opportunities to be this new person.

Be positive.

Look at your list at the end of each day and write down in a journal when you have displayed one of these traits.

These seven steps will give you a clear target to shoot for, a portrait of the person you want to be – of the person you will become as you trade in the old you for the new one. Deep inside, there is a strong, good, loving version of you, and keeping that image in your thoughts can help you as you remake your life. Becoming the new you will have a positive impact on every aspect of your life – physical, emotional, intellectual, professional, personal – and the people you share it with. It's a great adventure, and you're well on your way.