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3 Questions That Will Guide You To The Right Partner

Shelly Bullard, MFT
Marriage and Family Therapist By Shelly Bullard, MFT
Marriage and Family Therapist
Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist with a holistic and spiritual approach to relationships. She has worked with thousands of clients on improving their relationships with others and themselves.

Many of us mindlessly fall into relationships. I know I've done it several times myself. Hang out, hang out, hang out … OH! We're in a relationship now.

While essentially there's nothing wrong with this, the reality is that the more intentional you are about finding a partner, the more likely you'll find the right person to be with.

As we all know, it's one thing to find a relationship; it's entirely different to find a relationship that's an exceptional match for you.

In this article, I'm going to discuss the three main questions to consider if you're looking for a relationship. By approaching love with these questions in mind, you'll certainly be on the path of finding the right partner for you.

1. Who is your ideal partner?

Do you know the type of person you want to be with? Because if you don't, how can you expect to find him or her? Before you set out to accomplish a goal, you must know what the goal is. Clarity creates direction. It helps you know what you're going after.

Of course, you won't know everything about your potential partner, but you do have an idea of what type of person is a good fit for you.

Perhaps you want to be with someone who cares about making a difference in the world? Or maybe a family-oriented person is the right match for you? Are you looking for someone who's going to take you on adventures? Anything you desire is fine — you just have to claim that you want it!

Right now, make a list of what you want in a potential partner. Answer the following questions to get clear on what you're looking for:

What qualities does my ideal partner have?

What does it feel like to be with him or her?

What attributes are the most important to me?

The clearer you are about the person you want to be with, the more likely he or she will come to you.


2. Are you a match for your ideal partner?

Now that you've made a list of who you want to be with, you have to make sure you are a match for this person.

In relationships, we attract people who match who we are. They mirror back the qualities we have, and our beliefs about relationships. For this reason, it's crucial that you are being the qualities that you want to attract.

Sometimes we think a relationship is meant to fill in the holes of our life, that a partner is the key to what's missing. But this couldn't be further from the truth. A relationship is not going to fill in the gaps of your life; it's going to enhance the feelings that are already there.

Right now, take a look at the list you made about your ideal partner and ask yourself: Am I being all the qualities that I listed? Am I being the person what I want to attract in?

Circle any qualities that you're not actively embodying, and make a point of being more of that person today. Be who you want to attract, and the right person will absolutely make his or her way to you.

3. Are you treating yourself the way you want to be treated?

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Last, but definitely not least, you must treat yourself the way you want a partner to treat you. Since your partner mirrors back how you feel about yourself, you have to love yourself before the right partner arrives!

Don't wait for a relationship to feel beautiful, adored, cherished, cared for, and honored. Feel this way now, and you'll find someone who feels this way about you, too.

Right now, make a list of how you want to be treated in a relationship. Once you finish this list, ask yourself: Am I treating myself this way?

Am I complimenting myself?

Am I being kind and understanding to myself?

Am I taking myself out to places that I love?

Am I proud of myself, and the way I'm living my life?

I know it can be hard to believe, but people will only going to give you the amount of love that you give to yourself. Love yourself deeply, and you'll find another who will love you deeply, too.

Remember: a relationship is an enhancement of who you already are. Find love on the inside, and you will absolutely find it on the outside, too.

Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist with a holistic and spiritual approach to...
Read More
More from the author:
Become The Person You've Always Wanted To Be & Attract The Love You Deserve
Check out How To Attract A Partner
Join love guru Shelly Bullard for this heart-opening course designed to help you attract a partner ready for real love.
Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist with a...
Read More

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