Ahhhhh, sweet love. Don’t we all just die for it? The fireworks. The giddiness. The butterflies in the stomach. Connection. Companionship. The expansion of the heart. And yet, inevitably, along with these delights and wonders comes an immersion in love’s classroom. For there we are, also, in a series of tests and challenges, navigating a learning curve that’s often rather steep.
The lure of romantic love is its magic. And it is truly magical. But loving another and being loved in return represents a powerful assignment as well. Here are your seven essential steps for a love life that’s joyful, fulfilling, and sprinkled with pixie dust.
1. Shift your expectations.
We falsely assume relationships are meant to be pleasurable and easy, when they're actually our greatest tools for learning and growth. All of life happens in polarities, cycles, and waves, and while some of love's lessons are guaranteed to be difficult, they're always for our benefit.
2. Expect the unexpected.
Your beloved is sure to be different from you. Whether along lines of personality, nation, race, culture, gender, the fact of our diversity is the great earthly adventure, and it's what makes each one of us so special and unique! You can be assured you will bump up against each other's way of thinking, doing, and being. So be open to difference!
3. Be your best self.
Who you are, the quality of the person you are bringing to the table, is of the utmost importance in your relationship. It's every bit as important as the quality of the person you choose to be with. Be your biggest, best, brightest, most luminous, dazzling, and powerful self. And above all, be your most authentic.
4. Cultivate intimacy and independence.
Enjoy the magic of connection while also retaining autonomy and self-governance.
5. Trust that there is a reasonable explanation for everything.
Don't expect love to seem entirely rational. But when chaos or the inexplicable arises, remember that that there's a higher, unseen logic at work. Love is a force far stronger than our willpower. And esoteric mysteries, sacred contracts, karmic, and past-life-related matters also affect the unfolding of relationships. Much of love is beyond our capacity to understand, so keep an open mind and an open heart. Trust that however strange love can be, "There is a reasonable explanation for everything."
6. Purify your thoughts.
Your thoughts about your beloved are driving and shaping your relationship far more than your words and deeds. You can be doing and saying all the right things. But if you secretly have an eyebrow raised, have doubts in your mind, or are looking at your partner askance, you can be guaranteed your dealings with that person will reflect your thoughts, and that your relationship will be under its own potential.
7. Love yourself fiercely.
The more you love, honor, care for, and place importance upon yourself, the more others will follow your lead. Identify your needs, for both survival and for quality of life. And then meet those needs yourself. With this formula, you'll magically find your beloved actively doing a better job of filling your needs as well, as though a path for it had been paved. And if you wish to manifest a great love, your unshakeable love of self will ensure that your wish is realized.