I wrote this post as a follow-up to the article 5 Telltale Signs You’re Settling for Less in Life and Love. To get on the path of creating the life you want, a few new habits must be established. Here are five tips to move from a place of settling to thriving.
Warning: If you truly love the life you are leading, then you aren't settling. However, if reading this article is hitting a nerve, you may want to take a closer look. There’s no reason to be bothered if it doesn’t apply to you.
1. Admit the truth to yourself.
You can’t fix what you won’t admit isn’t working. Many of us are masters of self-deception. Until the realization that dissatisfaction exists, real work cannot begin. Taking this step is hard because you may feel that pulling at the thread will completely unravel you. However, until you address it, your life remains unmended.
2. Take emotional inventory.
Your emotions are the best indicators you have for well-being. Your built-in sensors are expressly there for that purpose. The intensity of negative emotions often reflects the depth of your buried desires. How sad, jealous, or resentful you feel represents how much you have settled. Pay attention to your present state.
3. Create accountability.
Although some individuals will be able to walk this new path alone, most will not. Therefore, it’s important that you create a measure of accountability for yourself. A partner in this new journey will help exponentially by not allowing you to fall back into your old ways.
It may be a trusted friend. It may be an online group if you have no one in proximity. If you're able, get professional help from a therapist or a life coach, depending on your needs. Finding an accountability partner is crucial to breaking the settling habit.
4. Drop the naysayers.
While you are bringing in a supportive element, you must also remove the negative ones. Otherwise, the negative forces will counter the momentum you build. You’ll create a cycle of ups and downs resulting in much movement with no progress.
Your energy has to go into forging new path. You can't afford to spend that energy justifying your new insights and actions. If you want to stop settling, you have to stop spending the bulk of your time with settlers. Plain and simple.
5. Work on your self-worth.
Self worth determines how you move through every aspect of your life. It's the lens through which you will evaluate all else. It is imperative that you put yourself on your own to-do list.
Taking care of yourself in the smallest of ways can start to build the foundation for what you want to experience. As is often said, the world will reflect back to you what you think of yourself and how you treat yourself. Self worth is critical to creating a life that resonates with your soul.
In conclusion, the next time you think that settling is something that you have to do, remember this. There are people who really love their lives. There are people who reach for their dreams and get to live them out. There are those who find a way to move beyond circumstances that would stop others in their tracks.
As hard as this truth may be, settling is an option.
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