Like most small children, I was naturally spiritual, yet I grew up in an atheist family where any kind of connection or devotion to God or Spirit was considered to be a crutch. This was confusing, to say the least.
In my early 30s, after years of therapy and still feeling like something was missing, I started on a search to have an experience of Spirit. I learned to meditate, found a guru, and listened to tapes on learning how to connect with a source of spiritual guidance. While I had moments of connection with something beyond myself, the connection just seemed to happen out of the blue, and I still had no idea how to make it happen at will.
I had become a traditional psychotherapist, but after 17 years of private practice, I was not happy with the results. I wanted my clients to have a process they could turn to on their own so they wouldn't always have to pay to see me. Also, I knew that true healing could not occur without a spiritual connection, because we need to be able to turn to a Source of love, truth and guidance to know how to love ourselves and fill ourselves up with love. But I still didn't know how to have this connection in an ongoing way, and I didn't know how to help my clients create this connection.
At that time, about 30 years ago, I started to pray for a process that would help people to heal on a very deep level — a process that included Spirit. That's when I met my best friend Dr. Erika Chopich, who is also the co-creator of the process that I use today with my clients. She had half the process and I had the other half, so of course we had to meet to put it all together!
As we worked together to create this powerful self-healing process, it became apparent what had been missing for me. It's all about raising your frequency to the level of Spirit. When you learn how to raise your frequency, you have an instant connection with your personal source of spiritual guidance.
The question became: how do we raise our frequency? The answer actually came from Spirit. And it's surprisingly simple to understand, though not always easy to do.
In the Inner Bonding process, there are only two intentions possible at any given moment:
- The intent to learn about loving yourself and others.
- The intent to protect against pain with some form of controlling behavior.
When we are intent on controlling to avoid our pain, we lower our frequency, since controlling behavior has a low frequency. When we are intent on learning to love ourselves and others, our frequency goes high enough to connect with Spirit.
It's consciously choosing to open to learning about love that creates an instant spiritual connection.
This is the simple secret that I never learned in school, in psychotherapy, or with my guru.
We can meditate for hours. We can be in nature, practice yoga, read spiritual literature, listen to uplifting music and do many other things that help to raise our frequency. But if our intent is to control rather than to learn about loving ourselves and others, our frequency will not go high enough to access the love, wisdom and guidance that is always here for us.
My life changed dramatically when I started to practice this. Now I knew that I was never alone. Now I never had to decide things by myself. Learning to live from Spirit rather than from my wounded ego mind has changed everything!
I believe that we are on this planet to evolve our souls in love and in the full manifestation of our true Self. This is what Spirit is here to teach us. Spirit will rarely tell us the outcome of things and is not here to give us winning lottery numbers. But Spirit is always here when we want to learn about what is loving to ourselves — what is in our highest good — so that we can fill ourselves with love and share love with others.
Now I live my life in surrender to Spirit and I feel so much joy most of the time. I ask throughout the day, "What is loving to me right now? What is in my highest good right now?" I ask it about everything: What I put into my body, how I spend my free time, what kind of exercise is best for me, how to take loving care of myself around others who are being unloving. It's such a relief to not have to know the answers to these things! Spirit always answers.
I've tested this out enough times to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that Spirit is always here, moment-by-moment, for all of us.
I hope you open to learning about loving yourself and discover this truth for yourself.
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