Through my work as spiritual healer and life purpose guide I talk to people on a daily basis about what is holding them back from living their purpose. Most people come up with the same reasons:
- I don't know what my purpose is.
- I can't quit my job because I need a paycheck.
- My partner won't support me.
These are obviously three very good reasons, but the biggest fear that blocks you from living your purpose is much deeper.
It is the fear of what others will say about you if you have the courage to go for it and be who you really are.
The fear is so big that you mask it with all those other reasons. You choose jobs and relationships that set up the perfect situation for you to validate those reasons. They allow you to hide your greatness and avoid the pain of being judged.
I know all this very well because I did it myself for a long time. I chose the "perfect" husband with whom I could I give up my power so that I wouldn’t have to deal with disapproval. I chose the "perfect" corporate architecture job that allowed me to hide my talents so that I wouldn’t be exposed to criticism. And then of course there was the paycheck, which kept me safe in complaining, but not doing anything about it.
As my level of unhappiness and unfulfillment started to grow, I remember getting to the heart of the matter and thinking: What will everyone say about me if I step out of this marriage? A few months later I thought: What will they think if I quit this job that is sucking the life out of me?
Other people’s opinions keep us stuck in huge ways. However, the difference between the people who are living their purpose and the ones who are not is not about more money or more potential. It’s the fact that they give themselves the permission to be who they really are.
How did I allow myself to be authentic? I realized I didn’t know how to do this on my own, so I got help. I saw a spiritual healer who gave me powerful answers and strength to finally be myself. I stepped out of being “we” and started being “me.” Through that very spiritual healing modality, I discovered my life’s purpose, which was to not to be an architect, but to be a spiritual healer and teacher.
Did I quit my job right away? Of course not, but I started to take massive action and began to take charge of my life, live my purpose and be all of who I am.
Guess what happened?
Health issues cleared up, I found a lovely man who supports me in being myself. Best of all, my soul is happy because I work with women everyday to help them discover their purpose and live it, too!
I have five tips for you to overcome this fear that is blocking you from shining your light:
1. Spend time getting to know yourself deeply.
If you are not living your purpose, you definitely don’t know all of who you are. But when you do, then you can be that person. Spend time trying to uncover your fears, your passions, your dreams. Meditation and journaling are great for this.
2. Start to discover your purpose.
If you're not sure what your purpose is, you can find some tips to discovering it here and here. Another way to discover it is to get a life purpose reading with a spiritual healer. Someone who is in that line of work will be able to see the imprint of your soul, which carries specific information about your purpose, and this can be done long distance (via Skype, for example). Take baby steps to start steering your life in a direction you'd love to go. Once you know what that is, taking action is so much easier. Then you can become the happiest person you have ever been.
3. Distance yourself from the people you think will judge you.
In some cases, this could mean you'll have to end the relationship, but in others, it’s just about giving yourself the space and time to be you, and make your own decisions. Taking off the pressure of not having to share with others is so empowering!!
4. Notice who and what you are judging.
This is a wonderful exercise because we typically fear being judged in the way that we judge others. As you practice non-judging, the opinions of others will be less important and you'll regain the power of self-expression.
5. Put your vulnerability out there.
Once you have gathered your strength and you no longer have the need to pretend to be someone who you're not, share your story, and be vulnerable. You'll be surprised to see the wonderful ways in which you are supported and how you get closer to the people who love you for who you really are.
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