If You Want To Find Love, Date Yourself

Written by Daria Zvirgzde, PhD

Relationships make us feel alive. They bring light and meaning to our day-to-day routines. All healthy couples sincerely aspire to live happily in love by each other’s side. So, what’s the underlying secret to this ultimate goal of long-lasting, fulfilled and soulful relationships?

It's all about understanding one sacred truth: a woman can only be happy in a relationship when she is happy with herself. Only if you are self-sufficient, complete, full and happy will you will be able to become a healthy and loving partner to your beloved.

There are 5 easy steps to enter the “self-happiness” mode:

1. Live with passion.

Passionate people have that sparkle that attracts others. When you live passionately, you're on fire, you are full of energy. And your partner needs that energy to stay connected. So, passion is an elixir of love. You might be passionate about anything, from singing in the shower to ice-skating, but bring passion into your everyday life to be full of energy.

2. Talk strengths.

It's common that people tend to talk weaknesses versus strengths. However, if you spend all the time and effort you might spend working on your weaknesses working on your strong sides instead, can you imagine how powerful you would be? Unbeatable. Find things you're good at and master them like a pro. Dive beneath, dig deeper, go for it. Become a professional of your strengths. Make other people value you for your uniqueness.

3. Do not be sorry for your desires.

Speak your truth. Courageously and out loud. What you want matters, because it will make you happy. And if you are happy, people around you will be happy too. Playing small has never benefited anyone. Challenging your partner with your desires is the love game of the next century. It's a perfect way to heat up the relationship and keep it as if it’s still your first date, which is awesome.

4. Agree on your nonnegotiable list.

Get clear on the things that make you feel vibrant, feminine, loved and desired. Make those your non-negotiables. And that means having a hot tub despite the lack of time, going for a walk and having your favorite brunch even when your friends are unavailable, genuinely loving spending time with your own self. Bring in fun, joy, movies and gelato — whatever makes you happy. A good way to start is to mark a day every single week when you spend time rejuvenating alone. You will have to fill those couple of hours with something you adore, otherwise you will get bored, and nobody really wants that.

5. Date yourself.

Finally, we got here. Self-dating is a total game changer. When you invest time, money and energy into yourself, you receive an extremely generous payback. Self-dating makes you believe you are worth it all. Your eyes start shining, your face starts smiling, your skin smells self-love. And this is the woman your partner would die to be with. Self-sufficient women make men stay.

To sum up, if you want to have a happy long-lasting relationship start with a happy you. It is a way to independence, freedom and true love. And these are the real basic elements of a healthy relationship you will be part of. Entering a sacred love duet as a happy person on the first place, brings enormous light and makes this world definitely a better place to live in.

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