Recently I posted a picture of a shirt on my Facebook page because I thought it was funny. The shirt offered a definition of the F-word and said:
FUCK: verb [FAAK]
Fuck can be used in many ways and is probably the only fucking word that can be put everyfuckingwhere and still make fucking sence. Fuckers.
I added the following comment to the post:
A great f*cking shirt but would've been better if they spelled "sense" correctly. Nonetheless. Faak, indeed. ps, if this offends you, you probably liked the wrong page before going about my day.
Naturally, because it is funny, it got shared a lot and received many likes. But there were a couple of hateful comments. One of which I read because it seemed its author and I had some mutual Facebook friends. When I clicked on her page, I saw that she had posted a whole rant about my silly little comment.
I wondered about the energy it took to comment on something she didn't like instead of just taking note and going back to folding the laundry.
I like to look at myself whenever I get hooked by something, whenever I make something a big deal when it isn't. (Like um, why did I bother clicking on her page? That took up my time and energy and gave focus to something that didn't need focusing on.)
Where do I stew on something small and possibly irrelevant until it becomes a looming thing, larger than life, lurking in my body like an ache? Where do I take myself too seriously? Where do I judge? Where do I decide I don't like something or someone and then go on to give them more energy than what I do like?
It's something we're all prone to doing. That's why I always ask my workshops and retreats a question that I call The 1 and 100.
I ask, "If there is a room with 100 people and they all love you, except one, who do you focus on?"
Almost everyone says the 1.
Yea, me too. It's a thing we do, isn't it? So we put our energy into getting the "1" to love us. All that precious energy focused on someone simply because we think it means something about who we are in the world when someone decides they don't like us for whatever reason they've chosen.
We give our attention and energy to someone who may not give a flying rat's ass (as my mom would say) about us.
It's not always fun to look at ourselves. Especially when you realize that the very thing you are bothered by exists in you somewhere, even if in the smallest part of you.
Most of us take ourselves too seriously. Hey, I didn't say all. If you are one of the people who doesn't take yourself too seriously, who realizes that most of the stuff we get upset by (traffic, gossip, hurt ego, etc. )won't matter in a year, can we maybe have lunch?
I would like to surround myself with more of that. I would like that to rub off on me more because you know, we are all contagious beings. Like I say in my poem called "How To Make A Life,"
Let your joy be contagious.
Let it spread through your home, your job, your children,
So that every once in a while, when you forget it,
You'll catch it from someone else.
We're totally contagious beings, so when we get our panties all in a twist, we spread that twistedness and upset and drama.
What I am saying is this: Lighten up.
Seriously. We could probably all use this message. I know I can.
This is why I have the rule in my yoga class that "If you fall you must laugh." So many people stumble and look like they've just gotten fired. It's. Not. That. Big. Of. A Deal. It's just a tree pose, yo. Lighten up.
That lightness will actually help us balance. That's the irony.
Take note of the things that offend you. Take note as to where you are putting your beloved energy. I hope it's worth it.
I'll do the same.