5 Essential Questions To Ask When Your Life Is Changing
Change can be difficult when you hold on to the past or when you're unclear of the future. If you're in the middle of transition, it can be difficult to navigate new territory. You might be mentally in the future, but physically still releasing the past. Be kind to yourself through the transition. The more present you are, the more successful you'll be in your new situation
The last four years have been a giant process of unfolding change for me. I walked away from a demanding corporate job in advertising, along with drug addictions, eating disorders and a bad romance, to follow my heart and become a writer and life coach. I was forced to let go of who I thought I was in order to become who I really am. But I can tell you that the more I let go of my expectations, the easier it was for me to step into my dream life.
I wouldn’t have made it through my transition as gracefully without going inward and asking these key questions. They can help you gracefully step into your future with more clarity and joy.
1. Am I running away from or to something?
Ask yourself if you're running away from something or avoiding a situation by escaping it. When situations become unbearable, we often feel pushed up against a wall. We may feel trapped, stuck, or even paralyzed by the outcome. We may be looking to make a change out of desperation. These changes are usually scarier, unplanned and heavy in energy, whereas feeling pulled by inspiration will help you make a more peaceful transition. To make real change last, choose to access your motivation from inspired actions; this will feel like a pull from your heart, joyful and full of love.
2. Am I focusing on what I really want, or settling for what I think I can get?
Many of us focus on what we think we can get, not what we actually want. If you want the promotion, focus on the number you really want, not what you think the company will give you. Don’t expect the worst; plan for the best. We often settle for less because of past mistakes that lead to outcomes we regret, which can fog up our rational thinking. We make choices based on past fears, which can prevent us from living more fully. Ask yourself what you really want, write it down and focus your intentions on it.
3. Am I listening to others’ opinions too much?
It's great to listen to others, but wise to ignore them. You know in your heart what's best for you. Other people don't have your perspective or big picture in mind. Most people try to help, but when we listen to them we can drown in lack of clarity. Do yourself a favor and check in with yourself instead. Ask yourself the questions you would ask a friend. The first answer that comes to you is usually your inner guide talking to you. Trust that inner voice. Ask yourself, “Do I trust myself?” and take steps to cultivate a healthy relationship with your gut feelings.
4. Does this choice feel expansive or restrictive?
When we make choices based on fear, they'll feel heavy and burdensome. When you make your choices based on inspiration and hope, they often feel expansive and joyful. Choose the joyful, love-filled route. Your choice will be more rewarding, and you will have no regrets.
5. Am I holding on to things I can let go of?
One of the side effects of life changes is growing pains. All change requires growth, and if we hold on to our past, it can prevent us from moving forward. All change represents a new period of our life when we can welcome in new opportunities. If we hold on to too many things, beliefs, physical stuff, emotional burdens, we won't have room for the new goodness to come in.
Use the transition time to strip down, declutter and remove things, thoughts and relationships that you don't want to carry into the new period. You know what these things are. If you have doubts about something, it's time to release it for good. We have to let go of the junkety-junk that weighs us down so we can fly.
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