12 Lifestyle Factors That Make You Feel Depressed, From A Psychotherapist
Many people who feel depressed come to me believing there is "something wrong" with them—that they're fundamentally flawed. However, I've found that more often than not, the root of my clients' depression is not a biochemical imbalance but the result of one or more of the following:
1. You're isolating yourself.
Social connection seems to be one of the most effective ways to prevent and cure depression, especially in older people. However, the problem is that depression will often tell us we're no fun and nobody wants to hang out with us, leading us back to isolation. Acknowledge that the thought does not serve you and, given your current state, consider reaching out to an old friend or co-worker.
2. You're grieving.
Ever been through a breakup, lost a job, or experienced the loss of a family member or pet? All of these situations are thick with grief. If you've experienced a major transition or loss in the past year (or longer if you've suppressed your grief), chances are your depression might be tied to that.
3. You're sleep-deprived.
Ever noticed how much more fragile and lethargic you are after a bad sleep? Exhaustion affects our mood, our energy levels, and our cognitive functioning. The problem is depression can cause sleep disturbances and vice versa, so it can become a vicious cycle. Consider looking for ways to improve your sleep hygiene, talking to your therapist about cognitive behavioral strategies for managing insomnia, and, if you believe you might have a sleep disorder, getting a referral to a sleep specialist.
4. Your life is lacking meaning.
From an existential perspective, we require meaning in our lives for happiness. If you're in a career you despise, or feel "lost" in life, depression has likely come about to tell you that the way you're living your life does not align with your values and desires. Take it as a positive sign that change needs to happen, and consider how your life would look if you felt fulfilled in your work, relationships (romantic and otherwise), creative endeavors, and spirituality.
5. You have a critical inner voice.
Imagine how worthless you'd feel if you had a verbally abusive friend, partner, or parent beside you at all times. Well, this is how it is for many people who are highly self-critical. Pay attention to your internal voice. What's its flavor? If you find you're saying things to yourself that you would never say to a friend, it's time to make a change. Studies have shown that self-compassion can be an effective intervention in treating depression. Therapy can be a wonderful place to learn the language of self-talk.
6. You don't exercise.
Consistent exercise has a positive effect on depression. And there's no need to join a CrossFit gym or to sign up for a marathon (although you can do that, too). A 20-minute yoga flow or walk around your neighborhood can be helpful. Consider asking somebody to join you for even more feel-good benefits.
7. You don't get outside enough.
When's the last time you got outside surrounded by green? Recently, "ecotherapy" or "green therapy," has popped up as a way to ease depression. Getting out into nature has been shown to foster mindfulness and feelings of calm. Try to fit a walk outside into your daily routine—even if it's for only five minutes! If you live in a big city, make a point to hit up a park or shoreline.
8. You have a poor diet.
More and more research is emerging that suggests nutrient deficiencies and food allergies are linked to depression. For example, studies have shown vitamins B and D are negatively correlated with depressed mood, while gluten is positively correlated in those who suffer from an intolerance. Every individual is different, but getting a blood test and seeing a naturopath, dietitian, or holistic nutritionist might benefit you.
9. You're stressed.
Studies have shown that chronic stress can lead to depression. If you can't cut some of your responsibilities, consider assessing where the expectations you feel are coming from (i.e., someone else or yourself), and take some of the pressure off. Permit yourself to lower your expectations for performance, make mistakes, quit, and ask for help. In other words, stop treating yourself like a machine and let yourself be a human being.
10. Your days are all work and no play.
Many people are under the (false) impression that once we reach adulthood we no longer need or deserve "fun." Well, given the fact that there will always be something more to do—another bill to pay, another project to complete, or another load of laundry to wash—we need to be diligent about setting aside time to do something we enjoy every day. This could be an activity, or it could be lying on the couch watching Netflix.
11. You have a hormone imbalance.
Imbalances or deficiencies in estrogen, progesterone, and cortisol are all correlated with depression. According to holistic psychiatrist Ellen Vora, M.D., "If your mood dips precipitously in the days before your period, or if you have irregular periods, acne, extremely painful menstrual cramps, or excessively heavy menstrual bleeding, those are red flags that hormone imbalance is an issue for you."
12. You are not dealing with your emotions.
We have primary and secondary feelings. Primary feelings are the ones that we feel at the core—for example, sadness or anger, anxiety or loneliness. Secondary feelings are what we feel when we judge ourselves for having the primary feelings. Imagine you're feeling depressed, but then you beat yourself up for feeling depressed and tell yourself you're broken and need to stop feeling depressed. Now you're not just feeling depressed; you're also feeling shameful, pressured, and frustrated. By giving yourself permission to feel the feelings that come up (whatever they may be) with compassion and without judgment, you may notice a weight lifted off your shoulders.