I know you’ve been there; we all have.
It's that moment you’re standing next to a ‘perfect stranger’ when suddenly you find yourself sizing her up and comparing your beauty to hers. Or maybe it’s with a close friend who always seems to be put together and on track. So you compare and analyze all the ways you’re better than or worse than, in the hope that somewhere in the mess of judgments you’ll find some worth. Or worse, that you'll think of new ways you need to improve yourself.
Ladies, it’s time to stop the comparison game, and here’s why.
Because there's someone out there who's felt the way you feel, and there's likely even someone who's looked at you with envy. There have been times she wished jet fuel ran through her body so she'd have enough energy to make it through the day. She’s had her heart broken, cried herself to sleep, judged herself as less than, and at some point she probably looked at you wishing she could have a glimpse of what you have.
She saw your smiles, laughter and infectious joy and wished she had an ounce of it for a day. When she witnessed your success as you acquired respect and recognition in your line of work, she wondered if she’d ever have that. She saw you living a "simple life" and dreamed of the day her own life may be so graceful and uncomplicated.
When you looked like a knockout in that gorgeous simple black dress, she wished she'd spent 30 more minutes at the gym that day. Or, that time she walked by you and your man talking over a cup of coffee with love in your eyes, she yearned to know a love like that.
What she didn’t know was all the struggle you’d gone through in your own way, at your own time. How you couldn’t even imagine that someone, one day, would want to be in your shoes. You think to yourself, “If she only knew.”
The truth is, we all have our ups and downs in life, and we never know why someone’s life has turned out the way it has. So instead of getting caught up in their business, take a seat in your own life. This is where your true power lies.
There’s a couple of things I’m sure we can all agree on that every woman desires.
She wants confidence to be herself and be vulnerable with the people she loves. She wants to respect herself and be respected by others. Women desire honesty, to feel sexy and to boldly take risks. A woman needs a group of soul sisters that she knows she’ll always be supported by.
Women want to be adored and even cherished, a man or a woman to cuddle up to at night, great orgasms and to love and nurture others. Women want to laugh daily, to be taken care of, to give themselves permission to take time for themselves without feeling guilty. Women want to succeed in their own way in this world and to feel exquisite in their femininity.
At the end of the day women want to love and be loved.
So now, realizing that we all, for the most part, want the same thing, it’s hard to imagine competing against one another and comparing ourselves on our way to creating it. When we’re focused on what we don’t have, lack permeates our thoughts and totally masks us from all that we already have to offer the world.
Acknowledging and even appreciating another woman's gifts doesn't diminish what you naturally possess. It’s not a game of "she has more, so I must have less."
So when the inevitable contrast happens and you find yourself envying what another woman has, use it as an opportunity. You can say to yourself, “Ahh, thanks for showing me an example of what I desire in my life. Where does that quality already exist within me and what can I do to accentuate it?!” Listen for the answers within you.
Now you've taken your power back. You’re even able to pay a compliment to the other woman, lovingly. It feels amazing and empowering to be able to acknowledge all of the beautiful qualities within ourselves without needing outside approval. This is when we can comfortably remember our confidence and appreciate the powerful woman standing next to us, for all the brilliance, beauty and strength she embodies.
We are way more powerful when we realize that we’re all in this together. And hey, there is more than enough love to go around for all of us.