Gossiping has always felt tainted and fake to me. I never got any satisfaction from being a gossip girl, yet I noticed that I fell into the gossip girl role whenever the situation invited it. I got sucked in every single time.
Gossiping doesn’t do a whole lot of good for anyone. It makes you feel bad, promotes self-hate and insecurity, and generally invites a whole lot of negativity in your life. I finally learned how to stop falling into the gossiping trap and now my conversations are filled with positivity and enrichment.
If you’re like me and want to stop getting sucked into the gossiping trap, here are the five things you need to do to stop being a gossip girl:
1. Become aware.
It’s so easy to fall into the gossiping trap. Become aware of what you are saying — are you being judgmental too? Are you gossiping? Are you encouraging more gossip?
Keep your own comments in check and become more consciously aware of the direction of the conversation. The first hint of gossip comes when the conversation becomes all about a certain person, and the sooner you consciously pick this up, the easier it will be for you to not fall into the trap.
2. Don’t fight it.
You may feel tempted to stick up for whomever your friends are gossiping about. But in doing so, you may fan the flames more. You may be subconsciously encouraging your friends to fire a rebuttal and they could even take the negativity up a notch.
3. Change the conversation.
Find an opportunity to completely change the conversation. Throw in a joke and lead the conversation toward something that gets the intellectual and spiritual juices flowing.
If you find that your friends have a habit of redirecting the conversation back to gossiping, find the courage to stand up and let everyone know that you're uncomfortable with the gossip and would like to change the conversation. You could say, “I’m uncomfortable with this conversation, could we talk about something else?”
4. Walk away.
Tried everything and nothing works? Walk away from the conversation. It can be hard to do, but if the conversation is no longer serving you, or is causing you discomfort, politely excuse yourself.
Let your friends know you have someplace to go or that you need to go to the toilet if you don’t feel comfortable being completely honest.
5. Love, don’t fear.
We tend to gossip when "comparisonitis" kicks in — that dreaded disease that cripples us by comparing our own worth to others success. We naturally want to bring others down to our perceived lower level. The fact is, there are no "levels," and it’s your fear talking. Come from a place of love and you won’t even feel a need to gossip.
You will find that the better you get at avoiding the gossip trap, your relationships with your friends become much more rewarding. Less gossip equals to more positive, heart-centered and love-filled conversations. This can only mean that our friendships are strengthened and we create more positive experiences in our lives.