5 Things I Wish I Knew Back When I Was Bullied

Written by Hali Tsotetsi

Everyone has experienced being picked on, in some manner, by someone in her life. I've only recently made peace with people who have done so to me.

Through forgiveness, I was able to let go of the people who have picked on me. I've also allowed myself to delve deeper into reasons people bully others, and I've concluded the following from people that have, are or will pick on me:

1. People who are happy with themselves rarely have a desire to be mean to others.

Like the saying goes, misery loves company. People who are unhappy try their best to see or make other people unhappy too. There are many different reasons why they try, but the important thing is they do. Unhappy people have chosen to be unhappy; it has nothing to do with you.

2. Telling everyone how someone treated you unfairly is a waste of time.

It's healthy to release frustration about a situation; however, your day shouldn't be consumed with a monologue of how people are doing you wrong. The same person you thought was being unfair is getting on with her life, while your life is being consumed with negativity about her.

3. You are not a victim.

It may feel like you're a victim when someone is insulting or berating you; however, you have your own life to live. And living successfully doesn't happen by sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself. People treat you the way they do because they made a decision to do so. It's good to have some sympathy for yourself in this situation, but don't sacrifice your future by constantly feeling sorry for yourself.

4. This too shall pass.

One day this story will come to an end, and the bullying will stop. Yes, dear friend, one day this person won't be in your life. Until then, take some survival tools so you can reach the point at which you can say, "I did it! I remained calm and true to myself regardless of whatever that person was trying to put me through."

5. Trust yourself.

Your body will tell you how people are treating you. Don't look to others for reassurance when you feel badly treated; look to yourself! Trust yourself! If you feel uncomfortable about someone, listen to that feeling. Your discomfort is telling you something. Don't look to others as a guide about someone you think has treated you unfairly, just trust yourself enough to know who's treating you kindly and who isn't.

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