The moment we look outside of ourselves for the answer, or love, or safety, we give our power away to whatever it is we're reaching for, and we disconnect from the truth that we have all we need inside of us. This means that when we go within, we find the love, and all of our answers; it's from this internal space of abundance and power that we manifest and create our desired external reality.
After spending the first three decades of my life looking outside of myself for the love and attention I desired in relationships, I'd lost myself and felt so powerless, I tried to control situations and outcomes and lacked any level of faith or trust in my future or myself. I lived in a fear-based reality where I felt powerless to make the healthy life changes I knew were best for me.
We give our power away in different forms. While I gave away my power in relationships by looking for happiness and love outside of myself, I always had an inner rebel when it came to the mainstream thought systems around what is right, what is real, what is truth. This inner knowledge led me to the path I'm on now, empowering others to use their inner truth detector and find their answers within rather than reaching outside of themselves to others.
From a larger perspective, we give our power away every time we think the media, the "expert," celebrity, or scientific study knows what's best for us or is of more value in some way. We make idols of other people, and from a spiritual perspective, we believe in a false illusion when we do this because there's no "better than" or "worse than" when it comes to humans. And the moment we put someone on a pedestal, we disconnect from reality and truth of who we are — all one, all equal, all worthy of love.
Take back your power now, with the help of these tips:
1. Make sure your thoughts are aligned with love.
Observe your thoughts consistently, and cultivate self-worth and self-love through this practice. From a spiritual perspective, the ego is based on fearful illusions, which come in throughout the day and look like judgment, blame, attack, confusion, worry and all negative emotions. Most of the time this incessant voice is directed toward ourselves, and other times it will attack others. The more we choose love and release fear, the more we choose reality and release the illusions that keep us in our self-imposed prison.
2. Go deeper and identify limiting beliefs and core fears.
These old, outworn ideas are the root of what holds us back, and they keep us from being who we really are. They keep us in the toxic relationship, the job we hate, the addiction, the fear of stepping out into our true life's purpose and our heart's passions and desires. Get honest with yourself and bring them out into the light so you can move forward and start living.
3. Begin to practice self-trust.
Now that you've cleared the ego's loud voice and are able to listen to your inner guide, the answers to what you need to eat, where you need to go, what job to take, when to step out of the relationship will begin to come easily. We begin to take empowered action from this place of intuitive knowledge, and the more we check in with ourselves, the less we need to depend on the external world for all of our answers.
When we're willing to take responsibility for the choices that are going to change our lives, we have fully stepped into our power. We are no longer in a state of confusion, making excuses, looking to others for our answers, or feeling like a victim of our circumstances; we have spiritually grown up and stepped up to the plate to follow the path that is aligned with our highest truth, our soul, and our freedom and authentic happiness.