It was the end of my premiere week, I was feeling painfully exhausted and after a few morning meetings had managed to slip back in to my sweats. I had just spiritually "given birth" to two major projects. My talk show, Naturally Beautiful, premiered last month and my first workshop series began the very next night. Thrilled, in awe, deeply grateful ... those were all words to describe my emotional state after such a big week; but exhaustion was also in the mix.
I had made a real effort to relax and chill out with my dog Bella as much as possible for the days following these events, but one hangout session I had on my calendar (which I was totally excited about) was a birthday celebration for one of my best friends, Sarah Jenks. It was going to be a Friday night filled with my soul sisters, yummy food, West Village shenanigans and more. Just what my spirit needed after being so work-focused the earlier part of the week.
There was just one problem. I felt gross. I was sure I had gained 10 pounds in two days from stress, I felt puffy, I had made some poor food choices the night before and felt like that was written across my forehead so everyone knew about it. The last thing I wanted was to be seen.
I pouted for a minute and then pushed myself to "snap out of it!" Saying things to myself like, What's wrong with you, this is Sarah, she loves you and couldn't care less about what you wear. Or even better: You felt pretty in your dress at the premiere party and that was like three days ago. That's enough for one week.
I huffed and puffed for about 20 minutes and then the getting dressed saga began. I tried to manifest feeling pretty by plowing through every item in my closet. I made a valiant effort to dress up and let my accessories be distracting, I tried hiding with an over-sized sweater; I even went to my three or four staple outfits that always work. You know those go-to clothes that look awesome every time so you end up wearing them everywhere. Nothing. Worked. It was a total disaster.
I contemplated canceling my evening and saying I was not feeling well, but I had been looking forward to this all week! So instead of stewing in the insecurities in my mind, I decided to do something that always works. I let God take the lead. I stood in front of my closet and started a conversation with God in which I was honest, vulnerable and completely centered in my heart.
It went a little something like this: Alright God, I've been trying to figure this out now for the past 35 minutes and it isn't working. I feel gross, I'm getting more and more upset with every attempt and my insecurities have me in a chokehold. I need you to step in now. I promise I will listen. I want to feel empowered, comfortable in my own skin, confident and free. Can you help me with that?
I closed my eyes for about 30 seconds and then moved my feet over to my laptop to play a song that totally evoked the feeling of lightness, beauty and vibrancy that I wanted to feel that night.
Within minutes, I felt sexy in my jeans, I pulled out a top from the back of my closet that I haven't worn since last year which hugged my curves perfectly, threw on my favorite earrings and even made a killer side braid which I rarely do. It was the exact shift that I needed to get re-aligned with my truth, my divine beauty, and my purpose.
So next time you're feeling stuck, funky, frustrated or even puffy, I invite you to ask for divine guidance. Each and every one of you is profoundly Beautiful, that's a fact. Sometimes we need a little support for the inside to be reflected on the outside, don't be afraid to ask for some help, you're human and it's easy to get knocked off your self-confidence game every once in a while.
Need further advice or guidance around adding meaning to your Beauty routine? Let me know in the comments below and let me be your guide for all things Beauty!