3 Steps To Live A Life You Really Love
When mind, body, and spirit are aligned, everything seems to fall into place. Your energy replenishes itself more naturally, creating a virtuous cycle. Life feels easier.
Often it seems as if this happens by accident. But if you look deeper, it’s the usually the result of focusing on one thing that’s most important to you.
Makes sense, but how do you find that thing?
In my coaching practice, many people say, “I don’t know what I really want.” Or they say, “I know what I want, but it's something I have no control over—love.”
You do know what you really want.
It’s just a matter of asking the right question.
Here are 3 steps to get closer to mind, body, and spiritual alignment:
1. Ask: What do success and happiness feel like to me?
Not what they look like, but how they actually feel.
Here’s why it works: Have you ever taken a job or entered a relationship because of how you think it will feel, only to realize the feeling did not come? You probably got frustrated because it didn’t seem worth it. You may have then doubted yourself and what you thought you wanted.
For example, say you want to make enough money so you can enjoy life. Great! But in process, how do you feel? If you’re enjoying life, then everything is aligned. But if you are feeling drained then it’s actually the exact opposite of what you truly want.
Take another common example: you want to be in love to feel connected. Yet, if you're not connected internally, it will be hard to create this feeling in the relationship.
Skip the middleman and go right to the source!
To identify the feeling you seek, put your hand on your heart and imagine being happy and successful. What does it feel like to you? If it does not come to you (or if you tend to be more visual), create a vision board of this feeling. Pull out the colors, shapes, textures that how you want to feel.
Then take a step back and describe it. I encourage you to look for one central feeling across all areas of life. Is it playful? Is it appreciation? Is it connected?
2. Use this feeling as your core approach to life.
In strategic planning, this is called the “one true thing,” the core desire that drives each of us. When you come from your core, life gets easier. It works more synchronistically.
Here’s why it works: 95% of what you actually experience is the process, not the outcome (which is out of our control anyway). If the process feels the way you want to feel, then it will be more satisfying, regardless of the outcome.
Ask yourself: What could you do in each area of your life to create this feeling? How would you operate differently? What shifts would you make?
3. Cut the drag: Less is definitely more when it comes to vitality and satisfaction.
Use this feeling as a screener for what you will and will not do. This removes the frustration of doing things that don't serve you and propels you toward things that do.
Here’s why it works: By focusing on what matters most to you, you'll often get better results. Further, by cutting the drag you'll have more time to recharge and let your creative, visionary brain do its thing.
Ask yourself: Which activities, relationships and work do not create this feeling? How can you shift then or remove them? Then stick to it.
To get support in this process, sign up for my Life You Love Workshop this fall.