My husband and I are on our way way to the airport for our annual summer vacation together, and every single way one of us goes about traveling is different from the other.
But here’s the deal: No relationship is perfect!
Let's face it, though: Marriage can get monotonous. It can be easy to lose sight of the one you love, and not always easy to remember what sparked your interest about this person in the first place.
My husband rocks. I totally love this guy and can't imagine being with anyone finer.
He's hot, intelligent, a world-class athlete, the best dad and an awesome partner in every way.
Even with all these incredible qualities, he still drives me friggin’ nuts. I wish he’d be a neat freak like me. We don't always see eye to eye on politics. He thinks our laundry basket is the floor in our bedroom. He drips coffee all over the counter and never wipes it up. He eats meat and junk food.
I'm sure my husband wishes I would just relax, stop talking on the phone all the time, hang out with him without having to schedule him in, and have a drink once and awhile. I bet his biggest desire is that I’d let loose more often than not, instead of always being so on my game.
Here are four secrets that will help you have a happier marriage:
1. Drop codependency in all its forms.
Being your own person and doing your own thing is key. You never want to end up dependent on another person for your entertainment or survival. You’ll end up bored and helpless otherwise.
Take some responsibility for your own desires and needs. You are your own unique person and there must be something (or many things) you crave to create in your life.
If your partner values your individuality, he or she will encourage you to cultivate your interests, passions and space so that you can shine.
And if your man likes football and you’d rather spend the day at a yoga workshop and go out to a killer raw food restaurant after, relish the fact that your guy has something to do to occupy his time. Bingo! Your day just opened up for YOU to spend time on YOU.
2. Call out each other's BS.
Nothing breeds resentment like a lack of communication.
Remember, you’ve got to be able to get out of your own way from time to time so that you can be open enough to hear your partner.
If your partner is calling you out on your bullshit, own up to it and hone in. And if you’re having a hard time being honest with yourself (or your partner), seek professional help.
You can’t build a healthy relationship if you’re not based in truth.
3. Remember the clichés about married life? They're true.
It's the little things. There's no such thing as a perfect relationship.
They speak loud and clear.
I actually do the little things. I put lavender in a diffuser by my husband’s bed every night because I know he has a hard time sleeping. I leave his supplements out for him every morning and evening because I know he’ll forget otherwise. I wipe his coffee spills up every morning without saying a word.
Why not make a conscious effort toward thoughtfulness?
How much energy does it take to make your partner feel special? Sometimes the clichés can help you remember that it doesn't take much, and that you don't have to be a superhero to make the time.
4. If you don't make time for the relationship, you don't have one.
Relationships need constant attention and nourishment. If you’re not spending time together, your relationship will vanish. You’ll lose connection with your partner and forget who they are. Never stop dating. It’s a fabulous way to spend quality time together.
If you’re not spending time connecting, you aren't having a relationship. I don’t care how busy you are, you can find a few moments with your partner.
What do you do to keep the love alive in your relationship? I would love to hear from you. Please leave your comments in the box below.
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