Most magazine articles, relationship books and couples’ therapists will tell you the best way to bring romance back into your love life is to appreciate each other, understand one another’s needs, or try new tricks in the bedroom. While bedroom tricks can be fun, they're not a long-term solution because they are about as effective as a Band-Aid on a broken leg: they don’t fix or address the real underlying problem.
All romances have ups and downs, but learning how to keep the romance alive isn't just about leaving flirty notes around the house. It goes much deeper. If you're in a relationship and the intimacy is in hibernation, it’s time to try something radically different.
Romantic relationships can be our greatest opportunity for learning about ourselves and how we relate to the world. Unfortunately, being in a relationship can also bring out our insecurities, fears, and issues from relationships in our past.
If you don't love yourself first, no relationship can work as well as you want it to.
I work with a lot of women in my workshops and private coaching sessions who feel stuck in life and who find their relationships emotionally exhausting.
So many of us lose ourselves in our romantic relationships; we try to morph into a version of who we think we should be, hoping our partner will love this version of us more than our true self.
Real and true love encourages us to be more of who we really are, not less.
I know from personal experience that the fastest way to create real romance is to dive into this list. When it comes to lasting love and keeping the romance alive, it's less about "we" and more about "me."
If you're ready to revamp your romance, these unexpected tips can help.
1. Forgive your past lovers.
2. Look in the mirror daily and tell yourself that you're beautiful.
3. Be your own best friend first.
4. Learn to laugh at yourself.
5. Support your partner’s growth.
6. Love more, worry less.
7. Stop comparing your relationship to those of other couples.
8. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt.
9. Choose compassion over fear.
10. Be more vulnerable.
11. Recognize the stories you tell yourself.
12. Let go of the need to be right.
13. Trust your own intuition.
14. Remember, love is supposed to be simple.
15. Don't postpone joy.
16. Listen without interrupting.
17. Focus on what is working rather than what's not.
18. Let go of trying to keep score.
19. Play like children together.
20. Believe in happily ever after.
If you want more tips on how to love your life more and add more romance, grab this FREE guide.