5 Questions To Help You Design A Life You Love
There's a big difference between living your life and designing the life that you want to live.
I realized this six years ago, when I started to see that something was wrong with my marriage. I kept on going over what had gone wrong and how I had gotten to a place where I was living with so much pain and frustration. I'd spent months engaged in a daily mental game of analyzing, judging, and shaming myself was making me very unhappy.
Sometimes you just have to hit rock bottom to see the light. One day, as I walked through Central Park, I decided I'd commit to only doing the things that made me happy. It sounded like a pretty good idea, but it was also very frightening because it meant making scary decisions, like leaving my marriage.
Nonetheless, having that moment in nature gave me the clarity to see that the desire for happiness in my life was stronger than anything else. It allowed me to see through my fears and uncover what I needed. I needed to step out of that relationship, although I didn’t want all the difficulty and uncertainty that would result from leaving it.
I started to invent strategies to muster up the courage to put this into action, the first one was to come up with a list of all the things I wanted in my life.
Over the years, I've seen that sometimes, the business of life gets us into constantly doing, rather than being who we really are. When you step into the greatness of who you are, you choose to have what you want and need in order to share your gifts with others. In fact, the key to living a fulfilling life is to have a practice of checking into who we are being.
If you don’t do it on a regular basis, it will sneak up on you as low energy, a feeling that something is off, arguments with people close to you, or needing an urgent vacation. This practice is about a moment of being in the now and allowing everything else to stop: all activity, responsibilities, to-do lists, judgments, deadlines stop.
I had a sneak preview of this feeling last month during the yoga summer solstice event at Times Square. In one of the busiest intersections in the world, with traffic, noise, and tourists, I tapped into my inner silence.
If you haven’t checked in with yourself lately, now is a great opportunity to look at who you are being, what obstacles you're encountering, and who you want to be so that you can shine for the rest of the year. When make that shift, you realize that you can actually have what you want.
How does this work?
Allow for quiet time to ask yourself the following questions. After each one, journal about it freely, setting the intention to not allow your thinking mind interfere with the flow of your writing.
1. What is the major inner obstacle I have to face right now?
2. What am I ready to let go of, forgive or make peace with?
3. What needs attention and nurturing?
4. If anything were possible, what would my life be like?
5. When I am feeling empowered and inspired, what do I want to share with the world?
Write down your action steps to begin to have what you want and need.