About four years ago, my body’s metabolism started to
change, and in order not to throw myself off a cliff, I decided to put my scale
away for good. I was disciplined when it came to not weighing myself. I knew
the number would never put me in a good mood, and I could tell by the way my
clothes fit if I’d gained or lost weight.
But a few weeks ago, I had a doctor’s appointment, and the nurse asked me to get on the scale. Usually I ask if I can skip this torturous step. But for some reason, this time, I agreed. I'd been practicing a lot of Ashtanga yoga, and also teaching, and tacking on sweaty gym sessions. It’s slightly crazy and obsessive, actually, but my personality is very all or nothing when it comes to these things.
So I kicked off my flip flops and stepped on the scale. I was horrified at the number I landed on. HORRIFIED. The doctor’s appointment was a blur. All I could think about was THAT NUMBER.
I immediately went home and printed a calendar out. I vowed to work out, ditch gluten, and weight myself every day for 30 days. I would make little symbols on the calendar to represent each of these things.
Well, that lasted about a week.
I tossed the calendar in my recycle bin and put my scale away. But I wasn’t angry or disappointed with myself.
What I learned is that I can gain four pounds in a single day. Or lose three. And losing weight made my whole day better, while gaining it made me miserable.
The thing is, we live in a society — especially in Los Angeles — where we’re “supposed” to look a certain way. Being a yoga teacher, as well as a student, sometimes I think maybe I’m not quite the right size or shape for either role.
But when I close my eyes and focus inward, I really try to remember how strong my body is, and how beautiful I am on the inside as well as the outside. Perfect? Of course not. There are definitely days when I avoid mirrors at all costs and curse my skinny jeans. But that’s not every day. Especially when I’m no longer obsessively checking my weight.
So: ditch the scale and pretend you never even saw the number on there. It really means nothing. Trust me.
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