I’ve made some big changes in my life. I’ve lost half my body weight — going from 280 pounds to 140 pounds. I’ve stepped away from a corporate role with Microsoft to follow my passions. I’ve moved to Italy — despite knowing no one and not speaking the language. And I’ve grown my own business doing what I love.
From that description, you might think I’ve always been full of self-confidence.
But you’d be wrong.
My past saw me haunted by the "I’m not good enough" ghost. Its presence drove me to seek solace in food, to tow the line, to try to be the best at everything, and to steamroll over my own needs — choosing instead to behave in a way that would ensure people liked me.
Know what I mean?
Your "I’m not good enough" ghost is destructive. It saps your self-confidence, robs you of peace of mind, fills your days with anxiety and keeps you from your full potential — a life where you're connected, loving, peaceful and joyful.
Through the changes that I’ve made in my own life, I’ve come face-to-face with that ghost. I’ve carried on despite it, connecting with a reality that was bigger. Slowly, I've waved it goodbye, rebuilding my my self-confidence brick by brick.
You can, too. Here are two keys from my journey that will help you banish the "I’m not good enough" ghost from your life and turn around your self-confidence, stepping into the life you’ve always wanted to live, being the person you’ve always wanted to be:
First, understand that ‘I’m not good enough’ comes from outside of you.
You weren't born thinking it, and it’s not an essential part of you; it’s something you’ve taken on. Have some compassion for yourself; it’s not your fault that this ghost is haunting you, and remember that you don’t need to identify with it.
Identify where you picked your ghost up from.
When did you first start thinking it? Who told you that when you were younger? What has happened in your life to allow that voice to become loud?
Become aware of how often "I’m not good enough" comes in to your life.
By doing this you start to see the effect it has on you, and from there the possibility to change arises. Try keeping a journal for a week and note every time you have thoughts of inadequacy.
Get clear on what you value and start taking steps towards embodying it.
Bring to mind people you admire, people you think are worthy, good or successful.
What specifically is it about them that you love? Is it their patience? Their musical skills? Their integrity? The way they follow their muse? Their compassion? The fact that they create beauty?
Note five skills or values that you believe are truly worthy. Next, take steps to embody these yourself; take a course, consciously change the way you act, make time, reach out. The more you do this, the more your opinion of yourself will shift, and the more you’ll be fulfilled and confident. Before you know it that "I’m not good enough" ghost will have disappeared.