How To Stop Putting Others On A Pedestal
We all have an interesting challenge to live with each day, a challenge you may feel controlled by even though you so desperately want to lead an easier and happier life.
This challenge is called your ego.
You probably recognize your ego when you brag about an accomplishment, about how you did something better than someone else. Yet the ego is also at work when you think you're the one who's less than someone else in some way. Either way, it creates separation between you and everyone else, but the fact is, you're not greater or lesser than anyone.
Here’s a few simple steps to get you kicking the comparison misery and superiority when it shows up:
1. Acknowledge when you're comparing yourself to others.
This isn’t always as clear cut as saying with superiority, “I am smarter than her,” or saying with misery, “She has a much flatter belly than me.” Although these are certainly examples of comparison, it can also take the form of more subtle comparisons with thoughts like, “What I have to say is more correct/important than what you have to say,” or, “I'm more special because I went through [x] challenging experience.”
2. Send love and give appreciation to others, no matter how much you may want to bring them down.
When you notice your thoughts saying you're less than someone else, remind yourself that you're just as amazing as everyone else. Instead of focusing on your perceived shortcomings, focus on what you love about yourself and focus on what you appreciate about the other person. Over time, you'll find you can appreciate others and be happy for them, rather than belittling yourself others. This practice will also make you like yourself a hell of a lot more as you choose a more loving road!
3. Commit to being your best.
The more you show up in your life to play big, to do exactly what makes you tick in the way that makes you tick, the more comfortable and satisfied you will be! You’ll be less likely to judge yourself negatively, because you’re so happy being you! Celebrating your own awesomeness is a wonderful thing. It’s only when you think you are more awesome than someone else that the ego has kicked in.
4. Use affirmations daily.
This will remind you that you and everyone else are perfect. Some suggestions that may resonate for you are below:
- I'm perfect exactly the way I am.
- We are all one.
- I give and receive love and gratitude freely.
- There's so much beauty in me and everyone in this world.
- I love myself completely.
- I choose to think only positive and nourishing thoughts about myself and everyone else.
5. Look at your values and beliefs, and change what doesn’t serve you.
So much of what we judge ourselves and others on is automatic programming. We have created and picked up so much nonsense from our society about how we should live, when really everyone has different strengths, weaknesses, gifts and challenges. The more you notice the automatic programming, the more you can break it down and choose to see the true value of yourself and others.
6. Make a commitment to stop gossiping and judging everyone, including yourself!
I made a commitment to do this many years ago, and it's been one of the most powerful changes I've ever made. It has transformed how I think about myself, others and life. It has increased my happiness, my strength, humility, confidence, satisfaction, relationships, coaching work, and it gives me a deep sense of peace. I'm by no means a master of this all the time, but my ability to not participate in this joyless and damaging habit most of the time has left me a far more peaceful and happy person.
7. Ditch the gossip magazines and media consumption.
Another choice I made is ditching all consumption of gossip magazines, TV and news. I still enjoy a good TV series, and I love films, but I pick and choose what I wish to bring into my consciousness rather than being bombarded with constant messages that attempt to tell me what I should believe. Even if you love celebrity magazines and trashy TV, notice how they makes you feel as you read or watch them, and consider how much of that you wish to bring into your life.
8. Lead by example.
The more you can embody a state of love and acceptance, the more you'll allow others to step more fully into their greatness. If you influence those around you to be more loving and accepting, those around you will influence others. A ripple effect is created, and boom, the world becomes more loving all over!
Now it’s your turn: what helps you stop comparing yourself to others? Leave a comment below and share if you liked this article!