7 Attitudes That Are Preventing Your Happiness
Do you feel like you are working really hard to make things happen? Are you frustrated with your lack of results, despite your hard effort? That was me a few weeks ago. I was pushing really hard to try to make things happen, but nothing was flowing, so I stopped trying.
Instead of focusing on what wasn't working, I turned my attention to gratitude and moved my focus to what was going well.
All of sudden my career ramped up! The shift? Instead of trying to control my outcome, I let the universe guide me; I chose to be happy with where I was instead of worrying about getting to where I thought wanted to be.
I learned from personal experience how valuable letting go can be. Here are seven tips from my book, Find Your Happy, to help you let go and enjoy life more.
1. Let go of past failures.
Are you cheating on your future with your past? Many people do this unknowingly as they stay stuck in the past. Whether a relationship didn't work out, your job turned out to be a dud, or you mentally beat yourself up for mistakes in your past, learn to see the silver lining and recognize that failures are not at all bad. Everything is connected and your past has made you who you are today.
2. Let go of making excuses.
As a life coach, I work with many people who fall back on excuses when they get scared. It doesn't mean that the things they're avoiding aren’t important to them; it means their fear is bigger than their desire to achieve. Look at those areas in your life where you are making excuses; then go deeper and ask what you're afraid of. Looking your fear in the eye will often overcome the excuses.
3. Let go of choosing to do nothing.
I work with many people who are paralyzed by fear. A situation in their life is causing them tremendous turmoil, but they choose to do nothing. It is the “deer in the headlights” syndrome. If you're in a job you hate, a relationship that hurts your spirit, or you have a dream that you haven't moved forward on, you could be feeling the affects of fear. Choosing to do nothing is common for many people. On your path to happiness, choosing to take even just one step will help move you in a healthier direction.
5. Let go of thinking there's something wrong with you.
Every person on Earth is unique. Celebrating your unique self instead of focusing on your flaws will do wonders for your spirit. Many of us walk around in a numb state, thinking that there's something inherently wrong with us; feeling guilty, like we did something wrong. The truth is that we are all born from love, and tapping into that love and light will help you feel more connected and joyful.
6. Let go of thinking your addiction is bad.
Society puts a lot of pressure on people with addictions. Through my book research and workshops, I have yet to meet a single person who doesn't have some type of addiction. Addictions come in all shapes and sizes, though some are healthier than others. Many people have addictions or vices they turn to when they feel guilty.
Reframing how you look at your addictions can help provide more inner peace. Recognize that most addictions serve you in some way. Know too that addictions are not a defining characteristic in a person. Addictions will come and go, but looking at them as a "bad" thing will only amplify the situation and prevent you from healing.
7. Let go of thinking it matters.
We think it matters when we gain weight, when our ex is dating someone new, or our coworker gets a promotion before we do. Whatever is troubling you at this moment, recognize that this too shall pass. We tend to wrap our hopes into expectations, thinking we will get a happy ending. Focusing on the small things leaves us depressed, exhausted and numb. Instead of worrying about what you can't control, ask yourself if it will really matter in a week, a month, five years from now? If a situation bothers you, a good rule of thumb is to repeat the mantra, "Accept what you can't change, and change what you can't accept."