How Running Helped Me Find My Place In The Feminist Movement

Sprinting in downtown Manhattan is one weird hobby of mine. Weaving through small flocks of commuters and tourists on a concrete strip along the East River may not sound like the most restorative of morning rituals, but for me it has become a sort of meditation. I'll take off from the same place, run until I feel like I'm flying, like I've transcended this crazy city, stop to catch my breath, take in the view, then walk back to do it all again. While less than comfortable, these 40-second bursts remind me that momentary aches are fleeting, nothing a moment of rest can't resolve. The routine has helped me deal with life's anxieties and build confidence in my ability to fight through the small stuff. I find power in the notion that I can create my own start and finish lines, too. The thing I enjoy about these mornings most, though, is that they feel like a shiny, no-strings-attached gift to myself.

But sometimes, other people manage to take it away. Some mornings, I'll walk back to the starting point, face red and breath wavering, to the tune of strangers, almost always men, saying "Wow, you're so fast" or "Damn, you're so athletic."

Most of the time it doesn't bother me. As long as they seem to be coming from a place of genuine respect, I actually find these comments nice. As someone who used to struggle to run a mile without wheezing, I shrug them off as reinforcement of how far I've come. But with the addition of a few words, I've felt under-the-breath comments transform into something violating and derogatory.

They make me want to apologize for working on myself in public and opening myself up to the judgment of others. They make me want to go inside and hide on a treadmill.

But those breathless morning runs have shown me that feminism is something that every woman, regardless of background or story, has equal stake in. The comments send me back to night runs when I felt like I needed to head home early and get off the road, to stories from my friend, a track runner, who had to stop jogging in her old neighborhood because she didn't feel safe doing so, even in the middle of the day. They bring me back to one ironic occasion when I couldn't go to my running spot because President Trump's helicopter was landing nearby. They remind me that all women have had experiences that left them feeling small, like they needed to retreat after hearing a man talk.