How To Get Your Sex Drive Back
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Later this month I'll be celebrating my 35th birthday with a 10 day trip to Portland and Seattle. I'll go whale watching with friends, drink my weight in Stumptown coffee, and explore the bay with my Read
Most women don’t even know they’ve lost their sex drive until they get it back full force. When asked, most women say they would prefer an evening in the bedroom over a night on the couch, but let’s get real, when’s the last time you had your man naked and covered in chocolate?
In truth, how bad you want it (and how creative you are in the bedroom) is directly influenced by birth control pills, and if you’re on the steady drip, it’s highly likely your sex drive has been has compromised as a result. The fatty acids, called couplins, women secrete during ovulation to spike sexual interest don’t exist at all while on the pill, which kills both your ability to have babies and your desire to practice making them — a tad ironic if you ask me.
Study after study has shown that women on birth control pills see the world more platonically than their au naturale counterparts. When shown pictures of naked men, women on the pill will call them attractive, handsome, and hot. Those off the pill, however, are much more descriptive, often listing what they would do to each man if he were present! As a result, women on the pill wind up with relationships that are more friendship, less steamy intrigue. Both equally important qualities to living a beautiful, pleasurable life.
The problem is that once women get off the hormones, they often find themselves stuck. Birth control pills put quite the kibosh on your libido, and it’s up to you to build it back up. Imagine you have a little rustic cabin out in the woods with no electricity. You can’t just flip a switch and expect to have light. You first need to hardwire electricity directly into your home. The same works with your body. Your sex drive is like electricity, and the pill has separated your body from your main power circuit: your endocrine system!
Hardwire Pleasure Into Your Life
Without a constant current of sexual energy coursing through your body, you have to start from scratch every time you hit the budoir. You get stuck setting up the circuit breaker, connecting to a power source, and spending hours on the phone with PG&E. Not exactly efficient. Without the necessary framework in place, your body takes a while to heat up. You expect to be turned on the second your lips hit your man, but you aren’t. The current isn’t there. You need to hardwire pleasure directly into your life.
How you spend your day directly correlates to how often you want to get naked. You spend the day working, maybe hitting the gym, grabbing some dinner and catching a show or two. Therein lies the problem. You wind up deprived of any real experiences and fail to make any memories. Your day left you depleted, exhausted, bored and unenthused. I always ask my clients what they would be doing today if they only had six month left to live. Ninety-nine percent of the time, not one of those activities is actually part of their day-to-day lives. It’s no wonder, then, that you don’t want sex! Your day turned you off instead of turning you on!
Run An Erogenous Current Through Your Body
But what if you were living in a constant state of pre-orgasm? As if all day long were this beautiful foreplay of life, so that by the time you’re touched, you’re instantly aroused. When you're living a life full of true passion and pleasure, the physical kind isn’t far behind.
So how do you hardwire the sexiness into your day to day life? Simple: Pursue pleasure every day. You need to live your life in constant pursuit of pleasurable experiences, and not just the sexual kind. What turns you on in life? What experiences will bring you pleasure?
Find things that bring immense joy to your life and do them every day. Personally I love to play the harp, go for hikes, and lay out in the grass with a good book. I love gardening, laughing with friends, and enjoying a glass of vino over candlelight. If I have the space in my life for these things, I'm a happy, fulfilled woman. And happy, fulfilled women have happy, fulfilling sex lives.
Flip The Orgasmic Switch
Don’t wait until you have a new job, more time or a new boyfriend to start pursuing pleasure in your life now. Take a vacation, have a gabfest with your hairstylist or eat a piece of chocolate slowly and intentionally. Do whatever you need to absolutely love the heck out of your life. The more turned on you are by your everyday experiences, the more turned on you’ll be once your clothes come off.
Once your life starts brimming with bliss, use that pleasure in a positive direction and get your man in on the action. After all, the more orgasms you have, the better you’ll feel and the more your sex drive will come back. Think of it as God’s natural medicine for the mind and soul. All you need to do is get the most out of your life so you want the most out of your man.
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To learn more about how to have a great relationship or happiness, check out our video courses How To Have The Greatest Relationship Of Your Life and How To Create More Happiness & Meaning In Your Life.
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