Why I Should Be Pope After Benedict XVI
My name is Rusty Wells and I teach I yoga in San Francisco. I think I'd make a great Pope.
Maybe you can help me get elected?
Rusty for Pope, please vote for me!
Denationalize Vatican City.
Replace all cardinals with nuns.
Bring complete equality to all women and men, including gay, bisexual and transgendered, setting a new world standard.
Sanction and perform same-sex marriage.
Ordain women to any post that any man is entitled.
Eventually there will be no sexual division in the clergy. Each order will be co-ed and open to male, female and transgendered members.
Clergy may marry should they wish to, or commit to celibacy or chastity at their own discretion. No bonus points either way.
Clergy in all orders, male and female, will no longer dress differently than non-clergy.
No more ring-kissing or feet washing.
We will sell all luxury holdings (including art collections, etc) and invest in medical research to cure cancer and other diseases. Open clinics/hospitals, schools, and combat hunger and homelessness.
All secret Vatican documents will be opened and reviewed by an unbiased committee. Any evidence of current or past wrongdoings will be revealed to the appropriate legal offices.
Prosecute all sexual offenders currently protected in the clergy and those who have acted to protect and hide them from the law. We will offer the appropriate therapy for their recovery.
Strip any questionable beatifications, including the present process of JP2.
Churches will be humble safe-havens for prayer and worship and will never turn anyone away.
Churches will go green and will steer the world in ways to combat the climate crisis. Compassion towards the planet will heal our earthly home.
The Bible will be evaluated by a team of diverse scholars in order to present the most authentic original texts.
Sermons of love, hope, and tolerance will replace any fear-based messages.
No one will be threatened with going to Hell. Never, ever again.
No more dogmas and no more excommunications. We will be very liberal about how each person interprets basic doctrines.
Once I've accomplished these duties, I will relinquish the papacy to whomever the nuns choose, hopefully within one week so I can get back to my real job.
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