Living in a state of surrender takes a lot of letting go of control and allowing the universe to do its thing. At a certain point in life, we (hopefully) come to the realization that there are aspects of life beyond our own egoic human control. The only thing we have real control over is ourselves: how we show up in life, our actions, our thoughts, our speech, how we engage in relationships, etc. Letting go of the illusion and assumption that, “My own perspective, beliefs, conditionings, rules and regulations of existing are the underlying foundation for everyone else’s perspective, beliefs, conditionings, rules and regulations of existing,” will bring you a lot more freedom and peace. Even more than that, it will give you reality.
The reality is that each and every one of us is experiencing life through a different lens, different vantage point, different shutter speed, different filter, different camera, different make, and different model. Imagine that. Here are some ways in which you may release your grasp of control and force to live in a state of ease, acceptance and surrender.
1. Honor and respect differences.
“You say po-tae-toe, I say po-tah-toe.” When you can appreciate others for their own way of doing things and moving through life, you are not forcing your own ideals and projections onto them. Instead, you observe and witness. Take notes to integrate their way if it feels like it serves you in your life; if not, dismiss it and continue doing your thing. You can always learn from someone—either how you would like to be or don’t want to be, or simply how to accept and respect the other exactly as she is.
2. Don’t try to change anyone.
If they want to change, they’ll change. You didn’t come into this world to be a martyr. You are your own being and so is everyone else. You focus on you, let them focus on them. It’s not your job to go around fixing everyone else’s drama and life. You are the main character in your own script, so get busy living your own life.
3. Accept that you have no control.
Is it you who makes the sun rise every morning? Is it you who makes the wind blow? Is it you who tells the Earth to spin? Sorry to break it to ya, but you have no control over anything or anyone outside of yourself. How anything or anyone lives or behaves is none of your business, though how you approach it and receive it is. You have the choice to stay or walk away, but you have no control over the circumstances.
4. Practice receiving and responding versus charging forward like a bull.
Everyone has seen a bull move towards the color red, right? We all know the kind of energy that just charges and forces its way through anything and everyone. Who wants to be near that? It doesn’t sound or feel very appealing to me, and it probably doesn't for you. When we can pause for a moment, walk into the space, receive the external landscape, then respond... that is a more authentic and true way to experience reality. There is no assumed projection of our mind’s own self-created illusion.
5. Practice harmony, balance, ease, peace, and surrender.
LET GO; BE HELD. When we can let go, we have an opportunity to be held. There’s a weightless quality to life and our bodies, a sense of freedom of moving through gravity and time and space. Life doesn’t feel heavy anymore, it feels light and as if we’re dancing. Instead of stepping over our own two left feet, we waltz and tango with the wings of grace. We have an opening for grace to be real. Not just as a concept or ideal, but as a direct personal experience. Only with surrender can this state have the space to arise. With surrender comes harmony, balance, ease, and peace. The most beautiful part of surrender is, as my meditation teacher says, “The surrendering is endless.”
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