Holding Space: What Does It Mean & How Do We Do It?

Holding space. What exactly does that mean and how do we do it? 

In relationships, it seems to be the case that many are quick to give advice, take a pill for the solution, and rush to get to the outcome. 

But what if we instead, held the space for one another, for our own natural process, and could relate to others from a place of wisdom and direct personal experience? 

This is not taught in public schools. It’s only really learned in specific fields and/or through life experience. 

Okay, still, what does holding space actually mean? 

It means when someone is going through something, you hold down the ground for them to have their own time and space to work out whatever they’re going through. 

You provide stable, solid ground for them to be completely where they’re at, without judgment, criticism or blame. A neutral territory for the other to just... be. You have faith in their intelligence to figure it out of their own. 

Okay, great, but isn’t there more I could do that could help? 

Sure, but less is more. 

You can provide suggestions and examples of your own personal experience if you’ve been through something similar. Teach without “teaching.” 

You can guide and point the way. People have got to walk the path and figure it out on their own. Pippen never wore the ring, but he supported Frodo the ENTIRE WAY in his journey to take the ring back to Rivendell. 

Don’t do the work for others, or else they will never learn. Support them and hold them up, but we’ve all got our own karma to work our on our own.

Okay, I think I’m getting it. Do I have to be next to them the entire time? 

That’s up to you!

Holding space sometimes means going away or taking a break if where they’re at is affecting you on a negative level. No one, no thing, should ever be taking away from your state of being. That’s not healthy. Only settle for enhancement or balanced exchange of giving and receiving. 

If I can hold space for others, can I hold space for myself?  

Of course! 

Holding space for yourself means giving yourself the permission to feel whatever you’re feeling to go through the waves and motions of emotions and thoughts until you come to a place a stabilized clarity. 

There’s an energy of a sense of settling that occurs when clear-seeing is accessed. The days are always brightest the day after the storm. Allow for uncertainty. Surrender to change. Listen to your inner voice. Understand it’s all a part of the process. 

Life is long. 

Hold space for yourself and hold space for others. 

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