We all suffer from a lack of confidence to one degree or another. With low self-confidence, we experience anxiety, discouragement, fear and depression. We avoid new things and miss out on wonderful life experiences.
The good news is that you can train yourself to become self confident, even if it doesn't come naturally. With practice, your outlook becomes positive, your ability to spot and pursue opportunities increases, and you become more attractive and fun to be around. (Confidence, as they say, is contagious.) This piece will explore how you can train yourself to get some!
First, let's take a look at what this is. Self-confident people:
1. Take action in spite of their fears. Even if they don’t believe in themselves all the time, they “fake it ‘til they make it.” Sure, they feel doubts, but they don't allow them to become debilitating. They know that their path is unique to them (as yours is to you), and that their contribution to this world is meaningful and necessary.
2. Are responsible for their actions. Confident people accept their role as creators of their life experience. They know that today's thoughts and emotions create their future, so they use their imaginations to create positive mental pictures of success, love and abundance.
3. Take control of their thoughts and emotions. Their responses to any situation are rational and calm, not heated and emotional. They learn to monitor thoughts and deliberately choose only those that serve. This leads to better decision-making and better relationships.
4. Are not afraid of making mistakes. They see mistakes and failures as valuable lessons. Confident people understand that we don’t learn as much from our successes as from our failures, so they are not afraid to take action.
5. They are assertive without being arrogant or aggressive. They don’t trample other people’s feelings, but gently and confidently assert themselves. They are not judgmental or critical; they accept others and they accept themselves.
Here are some tips to boosting your confidence:
1. Smile! People are magnetically attracted to a smile. A scared person who feels unworthy doesn’t smile but a person who is confident smiles often--a warm, genuine smile that draws people in.
2. Focus on what you want, not what you don't want. How you talk to yourself dictates how you act, which then determines the results you have. Maybe you're very confident in certain aspects of your life but consider yourself completely inept in others. Improve the areas that need fine-tuning, keeping a positive mental view of the future.
3. Take action. It's tough at first, but persist! Any new habit requires repetition and persistence. The Silva Method teaches you to create the mental habit of action. Wayne Gretzky said, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." You’ll make mistakes, you’ll stumble. That’s okay - take the confident person’s approach and learn from them! Try new things and live your life!
4. Note when your confidence is high, and when it needs a lift. What’s the situation? Who are you with? Do you feel that your self confidence makes a situation harder than necessary? Do you refuse challenges because of your self-talk? Do you find yourself standing in the background? Simply becoming aware of your patterns will make it easier to shift them.
5. Teach people how to treat you. People consciously and unconsciously notice and treat you according to how you think about yourself. If you expect to be walked all over, ignored or dismissed, you will be. If you need to teach people how to treat you, change the way you treat yourself (through your self-talk and your actions).
Use these self-reprogramming exercises to change your belief system from unsure to confident. And keep me posted! What works for you?