Just like the dietary choices you make, sex can be a fast-food or a five-star experience.
One nourishes you for the long haul. It builds every cell of your body, optimizing its true potential. It literally makes you into a better person.
The other gives you a quick hit and then leaves your body with toxic residue.
What’s the difference between gourmet sex and junk-food sex?
Openness. Trust. Surrender. Love.
Junk-food sex isn’t just the by-product of casual encounters. It can also be consumed in a committed relationship. Those high-level qualities of intention require a daily re-commitment.
Just like your diet.
With your food intake, you could have a day where you go completely off the rails. You indulge in all sorts of things you know don’t sit well with your body and mind.
You’ll feel the effects: lethargy, foggy-headedness, irritability.
The deepest parts of you aren’t being nourished.
While you might be able to get by for a while on less-than-optimum meals, your system eventually starts to break down. Illness, disease and a decrease in your capacity for joy, ensue.
We crave quality.
We all want to be seen, touched and nourished at a deep level. For the core of us to be penetrated.
Yet, sometimes we just don’t know what we’ve never had.
My first taste of organic food was a huge, luscious, Fuji apple (symbolic, yes, I know). I remember thinking, “Apples can taste like this? It was so delicious and filling, it took me 30 minutes to eat it. From that day forward I’ve eaten organic food (unless I’m traveling or at a restaurant and then I make exceptions).
Once I had the experiences of deep, powerful, life-changing sex, it became clear that anything else would be subpar.
Since I promote the idea of people having as much sex as possible, I’m often asked what a single person ought to do. Will casual sex suffice?
First off, I don’t judge anyone’s sane and consensual choices around sex. Our society is full of that already.
I will say, that cultivating gourmet sex nourishes you like a whole-foods, organic, lovingly prepared meal. Junk food and junk-food sex simply can’t take you to the same place.
The plus side is that they might temporarily fill the void in your stomach or being.
The downside is that you’ll end up with an accumulation of toxins that will take time and energy to heal.
The key ingredient that takes sex from the merely physical to the transcendent and mystical, is love.
Love, trust and surrender.
It is possible to have those qualities in varying degrees in any experience. Even a meal with little nutritional value could be prepared with love and that would elevate it to be more nourishing.
Deep, powerful, transformative sex involves letting down your guard and allowing yourself to open. If you don’t feel safe enough to go there, you won’t be able to harness the incredible, transformative power of sex.
Think of the most “gourmet” sexual experiences you’ve ever had. My bet is that they changed you. They showed you a new way of being and loving that opened you to the flow of life. They had a positive impact on how you show up in the world.
How much of your life involves cultivating the gourmet? Consider devoting equal the time and energy (or more) to your intimate life as you do your other health practices.
The power of sexual love will feed you like ambrosia.