How To Raise A Good Son: 7 Expert Tips So They Grow Up To Respect Women

A few months ago, I said something to my 12-year-old son that I’d been wanting to convey to him his entire life: “You know, one day you will have a lot of power and privilege in this world, whether you want it or not.” So began our dialogue about the status of women in the world. I have two sons, ages 7 and 12, with a daughter in between. The reality is, just by virtue of being born male, my sons are statistically more likely to have a higher income than their sister, and are less likely to be discriminated against on the basis of their gender.

Feminism is many things to many people. But put simply, it’s about advocating for a society in which women enjoy the same rights and privileges as men. Since men have overwhelming power and privilege, they are in a unique position to hasten change for women. That means that we should be raising our sons to be savvy about gender inequality, and ultimately, to be feminists.

Share with your sons some home truths about women’s struggle for equality. For example, mention that women couldn't vote in America until 1920, or point out that most world leaders are male. When I did this with my son, it opened a space for discussion about who goes into politics and why. This then allowed me to talk about things like barriers to entry, harassment and workplace cultures.

Some conversations are for older children, of course. Teenagers could benefit from discussions of rape culture, as well as being aware of ‘slut shaming' and the over-sexualization of women in the media.

There are subtleties in how we talk about women that boys pick up on, and adopt unconsciously. Associating morality with the way a woman dresses, or pointing out her worth in terms of her appearance, has implications for how boys perceive the value of women.

After seven years of parenting my three children full time, I launched two businesses and went from being at home to near-constant writing, teaching, networking and seeing clients. It's important for me to share my goals and aspirations with my children. I tell them that I believe I can achieve whatever I aspire to with enough focus and work. The fact that I am a mother, or even a woman, is beside the point.

Generations of boys have been raised to 'do' rather than to feel. Too often, boys are praised for their accomplishments and not for how they treat their friends — whereas girls are complimented on their looks and empathy rather than their achievements.

Unfortunately, it's still common for mothers to serve their sons everything from food to domestic cleanliness, while daughters help with cooking and cleaning. I’m sure this has everything to do with the statistics showing that women still do significantly more housework than their male partners.

As much as possible, get fathers involved in the day-to-day work of parenting, to convey to your boys that dads matter.

Emphasizing feminist ideals inevitably shines a light on the unequal distribution of power throughout society in general. Male privilege, in fact, is mostly white — and that's worth exploring, too.