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5 Qualities That Women Find Irresistible In Men

Shelly Bullard, MFT
Author:
January 23, 2014
Shelly Bullard, MFT
Marriage and Family Therapist
By Shelly Bullard, MFT
Marriage and Family Therapist
Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist with a holistic and spiritual approach to relationships. She has worked with thousands of clients on improving their relationships with others and themselves.
January 23, 2014

There's a reason you're attracted to certain people. One of those reasons is whether or not that person is masculine or feminine.

We're most strongly sexually attracted to people who have the opposite sexual essence of our own. This is not a male-female thing (you can be a man who identifies as more feminine, and vice versa); it's more about energy.

What this means is that the traits that make you distinctly masculine are the traits that attracts the feminine the most.

By no means am I saying that as a man, you must have these qualities to appear attractive to a female. Nor am I saying that every woman is going to want a man with the qualities that I describe below. But I'm saying that a lot of women do.

Here are five distinctly masculine traits that the feminine finds irresistible:

1. Presence

There is something about a man who is present that is just flat-out irresistible to a woman. There's no getting around it; it's just true.

What I mean when I say presence is your ability to be consciously connected to the here and now.

A woman can feel your presence when you listen to her. She can feel your presence when you are deeply engaged in a task that 's important to you. She can feel your presence when you're connected to your core.

Presence is a practice. It's something you can get better at. Culturally, we're in an epidemic of not being present; we find many ways to distract ourselves all day long. But if you want to learn to be more present, you can! The easiest way to do so is to start a meditation practice. Meditation will train you to connect to the here and now.

2. Purpose

A man with a purpose in life is hot.

Your purpose can be any number of things. It can be to change the world. It can be to push your body to its limits. It can be to build a business or build homes. It can be to be to make art, or to be the kindest person you know.

It's not about what your purpose is (although, honestly, the more it benefits humanity, the better — but that's just my opinion). What matters is that you have a purpose or that you're in the process of discovering it.

If you don't feel connected to your purpose yet, the best way to find it is to ask yourself what you're most passionate about. Your purpose is usually about sharing your passion with the world.

3. Direction

With purpose comes direction. Purpose is knowing what you are here to do and direction is doing it.

The feminine essence is more an essence of feeling and being. Yes, we do things (most of us do a lot!). But we're very attracted to men who get things done. He has a plan, and he's taking steps (even small ones) to accomplish it. This is a man's direction.

Your clear direction makes the feminine feel safe. If she knows that you can navigate well on your own, then she has more room to relax in your presence. She doesn't have to show you how to do it, because you already know how. (We like that.)

4. Honesty and trust

Obviously, trust and honesty are important qualities in all relationships. Trust comes from acting in honest ways, but the definition goes beyond that. What I mean when I say trust is, can a woman trust that you're being honest with yourself?

One of the distinct feminine qualities is intuition — and with our intuition comes the ability to sense your BS from a mile away.

When you learn to be deeply honest with yourself (about your struggles, shortcomings, challenges, strengths, all of it), then a woman will feel your integrity. And she'll trust you, too.

5. Humor

As you already know, humor is at the top of every woman's list for a potential partner. But why is this? Because humor has the ability to lighten a mood!

The feminine gets bogged down with her emotions, as well as her to-do lists. This is very stressful for us! If you can make a woman laugh, it's a gateway to flow. Women are very grateful for your ability to add joy and light to day-to-day life.

For all you men out there, keep in mind that your masculinity is a gift, to your partner and to the world. It is part of what makes you uniquely you. We appreciate the ways you're different from us.

In the comments below, women, please share with us the qualities of the masculine that you appreciate the most, and men please tell the masculine qualities that you appreciate most about yourself. I look forward to hearing from all of you!

Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT

Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist with a holistic and spiritual approach to relationships. She has worked with thousands of clients on improving their relationships with others and themselves, and she's also the instructor of the popular mindbodygreen courses How To Become The Most Attractive Version Of Yourself and How To Attract A Partner.

Read More About Shelly Bullard, MFT

More from the author:

How To Attract A Partner

Check out Become The Person You've Always Wanted To Be & Attract The Love You Deserve

Learn more

More from the author:

How To Attract A Partner

Check out Become The Person You've Always Wanted To Be & Attract The Love You Deserve

Learn more
Shelly Bullard, MFT
Shelly Bullard, MFT

Shelly Bullard, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist with a holistic and spiritual approach to relationships. She has worked with thousands of clients on improving their relationships with others and themselves, and she's also the instructor of the popular mindbodygreen courses How To Become The Most Attractive Version Of Yourself and How To Attract A Partner.

Read More About Shelly Bullard, MFT

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