I was married to a perfectly nice, stable man for 11 years. Safe and picture-perfect from the outside, my marriage still left me feeling lonely and disconnected inside. When I left my marriage in my Read
Before we jump into this article, I want you to give yourself a pat on the back. You've realized that you don’t deserve to feel awful anymore, and that the days of feeling sorry for yourself and complaining to your friends are over! You finally realized that you are the priority, and that you accept the love you think you deserve in life.
So, that being said, on to bigger and better right? Not so fast. The following reveals part of what I believe is the healing process, and guess what? It’s OK to feel sad, unsure and vulnerable, as long as the end result is a stronger, more positive you.
1. Go ahead, have a pity party.
Let out a good cry. After all, you did just experience a relationship that wasn't the best. You gave it your all, but in the end it wasn't what the planets had in store for you at this time. Let those waterworks flow, because now is the moment to grieve. After you finish your weep session, grab some coconut bliss ice cream (man, I love that stuff!) and call up your bestie for a movie marathon. It will instantly make you feel better about your own life!
2. Forgive yourself — it's OK.
What happened, happened and there is nothing that you can do to change that. However, what you can do is learn from this experience. Not only do you now know what you do and DO NOT want in your next relationship, but you can take this time to become a better version of YOU!
3. Practice acceptance.
I know we hear this phrase all too often in life, but EVERYTHING happens for a reason. Believe me when I say this. Think about the relationship you experienced and how you felt when you were in those moments of stress and sadness. Now think about that person and ask yourself, “Would I ever want to marry them? Would my family and friends want to see me with anyone who ever caused me these feelings of such great angst?” No, of course not! You are so much better than you give yourself credit for, and you deserve to feel amazing EVERY SINGLE, DAY! Accept what you went through, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get healing!
4. Develop pure self-love.
If you find yourself in a negative or harmful relationship, it’s time to do some soul searching. You have to dig deep within yourself and look at the big picture. No matter what flaws or insecurities you feel you exude, you have to embrace and love them. Love EVERYTHING about yourself, because you only have one life to live! You are beautiful and strong, and when you come to realize this, you'll be able to get the deep love and respect you so knowingly deserve!
Sit down and get cozy. Take some time to write down a list of things you WILL and WILL NOT accept when you decide to date again. Don’t ever want to be called a derogatory name again or have your body insulted by your significant other? Write it down! When you're finished, fold this paper up and keep it close by so that you can refer to it at any time. This list will also come in handy on those lonesome nights when you miss your ex. Open that list up and read all those negative qualities you will no longer accept. Doing this will instantly knock those nostalgic thoughts right out of your mind.
I hope the above will help many women and men move past the mental anguish and negative feelings that can be left behind as a result of a bad relationship. Love yourself FIRST!
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To learn more about how to have a great relationship or dealing with stress, check out our video courses How To Have The Greatest Relationship Of Your Life and How To Manage Stress With Meditation.